Hey everyone. So, it's been about 56 days without contacting my ex. I DID respond very briefly to an email he sent me, just asking him to no longer send me emails. Counting that email, it's been 26 days of complete no contact.
Today I missed talking to him, a LOT. I didn't miss the relationship, but I missed his sound advice and his sense of humor. I missed talking about random bands and silly people in Dallas. The past few days I've noticed myself being reminded about random conversations we've had in the past, and little jokes we shared.
I had a short fling that lasted from NYE to Jan 8th. It only ended because I flew back to TX and the fling guy stayed in CA. We remained friends and have been Skyping frequently, sometimes for 5+ hours of the day (on a rainy weekend with nothing to do).
Well, a few days ago the fling admitted that he met another girl the day after I flew back to TX. He admitted that he's been sleeping with her every other day since then, and finally wanted to come clean about it (he lied when I asked him casually about it before). He felt obligated to come clean because I fly into San Diego on Feb 13th, and he's picking me up since my parents are 1.5 hrs away. We originally had plans to spend the 13th and Valentine's Day together, and he would then drive me up to my family on the 15th. Mr. Fling informed me that he likes where it is going with his new "friends with benefits," and would rather take her out for Valentine's Day at this point, but he could "let me see how it goes when we get closer." AKA, he would keep me as plan B.
I know I shouldn't have cared, but I became enraged. I yelled at him, called him a d**k, hung up on him, cried by myself, called him back and yelled some more for his lying and sneaking around when he could've been honest.
I KNOW that his dishonesty isn't what is really eating me. We had a stupid fling, it's not like I really cared for the guy. But, I don't know if it's my nostalgia for my ex, the painful sting of being rejected by the fling for the other girl on a romantic holiday, or a combination that has sent me into a whirlwind of emotions. I get happy, then mad, then sad, and back again. I can't even speak to the fling without having a crazy array of emotions and having my thoughts going in 5 separate directions.
Has anyone experienced such crazy emotions so many days after a breakup? You'd think that I would be a little more sound and calm at this point, right?