Should I let him go?

[SaraGeene]

I ended up being so confused when I first met him, around 5 months ago at work. He was funny, down to earth and loving.
I started to be afraid to talk with him, that I might end up saying something stupid to him. But whenever he said my name, calling out to me, I was overjoyed that he even knew what my name was, it feels like a teenage crush all over again.
But before I could even realize what I was doing, I found myself having a complete normal conversation with him, without having some irrational thoughts way back in my mind. I ended up telling more about myself than I wanted him to know, asking him about his life, and he replied to my every question. He even teased with sweet smiles and made my heart skip those beats. Then my question ended up being; how can I make him fall for me.

The thing is he is so much older than me. He’s been through all those things that I still need to go through. He’s divorced and has kids. And I somehow have this feeling, that there is no future for me in him. But still, each day I wonder what he’s doing. Does he have the kids this weekend, is he working or is he out having fun with his friends, or maybe even seeing some woman? And whenever I talk with his friends, I want to ask questions about him and his life. But I know it would be obvious. And I don’t want them to say anything to him. I have realized thay I'm falling for this guy...

I don’t know if I should try to make a move, or maybe wait. I’m afraid because I don’t know what he is thinking about me, if he thinks that I’m too young (he is 17 years older than me).
I know that we share the same taste in music and humor. We both have passion for work and kids. And it just feels so normal when we talking.
I do want to have children of my own, but I know I won’t be able to get that with him. That’s why I’m even more confused! I really don’t know what to do next, that’s why I’m asking for advice?

What should I do? Should I make the “next” move? Or should I just wait and see what happens? Or should I just give up?

I hope someone out there can give me some advice!

[Beenthere]

You havent said how old you are...which would make a big difference when thinking of the age gap AND how you know this man... is he a colleague, a boss or a neighbour?

Personally I think you have a major crush, and that you are over thinking the relationship and getting way ahead of your self. Assuming you are 20s to 30s and he's late 30s to 40s.. I think the relationship could work if you both want the same thing. If the gap is that... the only way you will find out if he is interested is by letting him know you are. Then leave it up to him. Just dont let life pass you by living for a fantasy... if you are not going to do anything about it.

[SaraGeene]

Thanks for your reply so fast. I'm 23 years old and he is 40. And he is my colleague.

I guess I might just be overthinking this a bit, but as you also say, I do agree that I have a crush on him. I will try to let him know that I'm interested, and hope that things will turn out allright.

thanks again!

[Lovejoy]

A year ago my boyfriend broke my heart so bad. We were together for 5 years and he cheated on me. I came home and found him in bed with my best friend and kicked both of their asses. Ever since then its been very hard for me to ever trust another man.

[Beenthere]

You're welcome. I hope it works out for you. You both wanting the same thing is going to be important. At 23 you should/may want to be out there... doing the all night parties and getting in a 3am before work in the morning.. he is going to be well passed that. You should go for it and find out how he feels about life and what he wants... but dont get sucked in to a serious relationship until you asre sure you both want the same thing long term. Its one thing thinking you dont want or could sacrifice having children, its quite another doing it. Im nearer his age than yours and Id be very flattered if I were him, so youve nothing to loose by trying. Good luck.

[Boisdevie]

You are 23 and he is 40. Are you mad?