Lost my love, what to do.

[Gorza]

So i broke up with my ex girlfriend in October over some family issues that I was having and it was the biggest mistake I ever made.

I sorted out my issues resulting in me disowning a lot of my family and emailed my ex at e end of December explaining everything and telling her I still loved her and wanted her back. She replied (cuz she wouldn't see me) to tell me we can be friends but only in time, besides she's started seeing someone else around Christmas time and its everything we weren't. We were together for 5 years and she been with this new guy for a month now. I've purposely given her space and time but told her I wouldn't give up and sent her a couple of friendly texts but had no reply, and she blocked,unblocked, and blocked me on Facebook which really confuses me.

My friends all say to give it time and that the new guy is a rebound, but have known each other for ages, are local to each other and have lots of many mutual friends. I can't stop thinking about her, I'm constantly trying to find out what she's up to, where she is and if she's with him.
I don't wanna give it time, because I have a plan for moving forward and the more time means the closer they could get as a couple but I don't want to pressure her because she'll be gone forever.

I need advice please.

[HeartIsAching]

She's gone. It sucks, but it's true. Time for you to move on.

[Paul_Anton]

What did she mean, when she told you the are everything you two were not? Did she explain? Why did you broke up? Can you tell us what did you tell her? Is it possible you've hurt her and she wants to do the same? Do you think she still loves you, or she doesn't anymore?

[Gorza]

She hardly met much of my family, and only a few friends but said she met everyone he cares about already. She said I'd broken her heart which I get but I never cheated or anything like that. My family were forcing me into another relationship so I lamely gave her a dodgy excuse about not having enough time when actually I didn't want her involved in my family s**t.
We were together for five years, surely you can't switch that off..

[Paul_Anton]

Was she not good for you? I mean if your parents were forcing you to another relationship.
Is there anyway for you both to talk in person? Maybe that way you can explain yourself? Ask for forgiveness?

[Gorza]

My family didn't agree to it cuz it was a mixed race relationship. She won't see me although I have explained thru email.

[Cerby]

I don't wanna give it time, because I have a plan for moving forward...

This is unfortunately disillusioned at best. You have a plan that involves her, but her plan is to move forward with someone else. A broken heart sucks, almost everyone has been there at one point or another. It takes time to get over it, much like the death of someone that is still alive. 5 stages, and it sounds like you're in "bargaining" right now. You can't force someone to want you back, you tried, she said no. Believe it or not, that IS the end of it, at least for now.

Take up a hobby, get out of your own emotion for a bit, and it all gets better eventually.

[basilandthyme]

Gorza, her actions are that of a woman who's not devastated to have lost you. Her new relationship has opened her eyes as to what a different and better type of relationship can be. Sorry to say, but she's moved on.

And as something to learn from this: don't dump someone who you don't want to lose.

[Boisdevie]

You can't turn back the clock. So stop wallowing in self pity, accept that you've cocked it up and move on. If I had a euro for every mistake I made with women and relationships I'd be rich enough to keep myself in whisky, cocaine and prostitutes forever.

[michelle23]

Any issues that come up outside your relationship should bring you closer-not tear you apart. You probably hurt her badly when you pushed her away and there is probably nothing you can do now. The new man is probably a rebound so don't worry about him. Focus on yourself and moving on and if she does come back-great. If not, you need to accept you made a big mistake and move on.

Learn from this experience. 5years is a long time to push someone away when you are going through a tough time. Instead you should have leaned on her for emotional support and it should have made you a stronger couple. You cannot change what you did now, you can only hope that she misses you in time and decides to come back. Give it 6months and if you hear nothing-time to move on.

[michelle23]

Also stop trying to find out where she is and what shes doing. Dont ask people about her as this will only push her further away. Dont text her or ring her for or facebook her at all. No contact. Give her some time to miss you. If you hear she has been talking about you or asking about you etc-then you can make a move to try and reconnect.

[Lubna]

I also lost and don't worry.

[Gorza]

Guys, she unblocked me last week for a few days and now I'm blocked again.

Turns out she's found out that I've been asking about her and trying to get the scoop on her new fella. Her contact spat some lies about what I apparently told her i.e. that she finished with me rather than the other way round. Needless to say she wasnt pleased when she text me.

How do I stay cool with the he said she said bull***t flying around? I've stopped looking into the blocks and unblocks and am seriously considering blocking her myself at the first opportunity to show her that I'm not into these little mind games. She still won't see or contact me.

[VincenzoG91]

Guys, she unblocked me last week for a few days and now I'm blocked again.

Turns out she's found out that I've been asking about her and trying to get the scoop on her new fella. Her contact spat some lies about what I apparently told her i.e. that she finished with me rather than the other way round. Needless to say she wasnt pleased when she text me.

How do I stay cool with the he said she said bull***t flying around? I've stopped looking into the blocks and unblocks and am seriously considering blocking her myself at the first opportunity to show her that I'm not into these little mind games. She still won't see or contact me.

Who cares? It's over and you need to move on. It's great that you set some serious boundaries with your meddling family, but you should have done that right away when they started trying to set you up with some other woman based on matching skin color. Your ex doesn't trust you any more because your priorities were screwed up, and for all she knows or cares, are still screwed up. She moved on, and now you need to move on.

[Gorza]

Guys, to update:

I spoke with her last week to arrange a present for her boys birthday, she said that was fine but still didn't wanna see me cuz she not ready to do that whole thing yet!
Then later in the week we exchanged a few texts and it was quite friendly and jokey as it had been when we were together.

I'm doing what i can to move on, I'm getting out there, been in contact with friends, keeping busy and getting back to the old me, she still doing the blocks and unblocks, Im trying my best to accept the situation for what it is and I seemed ok when I was doing NC.
Question is, now Ive had some contact do I go back to NC?