Is his behavior controlling or not?

[Bulletbiter]

I am suspicious that my partner may be showing subtle signs of controlling behaviour. He is very respectful, considerate and caring. However, recently we were browsing in a shop and standing side by side looking at something and i could not see through my peripheral vision that someone was next to me trying to get past but i was close to the middle of the aisle, this person did not tap me or nudge me at all BUT my boyfriend in a little bit of a frustrated tone said my name and then put both of his hands on each arm of mine if a firm grip to physically move me forward, it was quite a firm and abrasive move when he tried top move me out of the way for this other person. It did not sit well with me and am wondering if this is a very subtle sign? We have been together for a year

[mydnyght]

I don't see anything wrong here, if you say he is respectful and caring. It sounds like he was just trying to get you out of the person's way, but may not have realized he was a bit too forceful.

It seems normal to me really. I'm a tiny girl at 5'1" and my boyfriend is a giant at 6'7" and I tend to be a little klutzy and lose attention, so there are times where he will have to physically move me. For example if we are in a parking lot and I might get hit by a car. But he usually directs me by the shoulders.

Have you asked him about it or told him you didn't like the way he handle it?

[vashti]

I think if this is the best you can come up with after a year, you are too sensitive.

[Boisdevie]

I think if this is the best you can come up with after a year, you are too sensitive.

I feel sorry for the BF. He was probably just trying to gently move her out of the way of some loony with a shopping cart and she thinks 'oh no, he'll be smacking me in the face next'.

[HeartIsAching]

My wife has a tendency to stand where people need to go... I often will put a hand on her shoulder or arm, apply a little pressure and say "Honey... watch out."

If it's just us, I'll say "Sweetie, you're standing in the way."

I work very hard at not being controlling. I think that's just being polite to other people.

[basilandthyme]

not even remotely controlling

[Bulletbiter]

Thank you for your replies and reassurance.

I would like to add i certainly am not sensitive, i can see why you would respond in such a way however i am not sensitive, it was just something small i wanted to check in on and feel better now with these replies. It was on the shoulders with a firm grip and all he did was say my name in a harsh way when he did move me. It was not so much the force or anything, it was just the sudden grip and move so that i could get out of this persons way. I suppose i would have said, "hey someone is trying to get through" i personally wouldn't use my hands to move someone BUT look i do tend to end up in people's way and be a bit clumsy and i can see the frustration. Anyway, thank you for the replies.

[michelle23]

I think sometimes men dont realize their own strenght compared to there gf. Im with my bf over 4years and he is the most effectionate kind person, i no hed never hurt me but sometimes hes a little rough by accident. It doesnt mean anything. You shouldnt worry unless he starts being verbally abusive or if he actually physically hurts u on purpose. My bf sometimes moves me out of the way if hes trying to get something from a drawer or something and i give out to him and say u could just ask me to move and then he laughs and says sorry. He didnt even realize he was doing it. Best not to read too much into every little thing. Uv known him for a year. Do u trust him?

[Bulletbiter]

I think sometimes men dont realize their own strenght compared to there gf. Im with my bf over 4years and he is the most effectionate kind person, i no hed never hurt me but sometimes hes a little rough by accident. It doesnt mean anything. You shouldnt worry unless he starts being verbally abusive or if he actually physically hurts u on purpose. My bf sometimes moves me out of the way if hes trying to get something from a drawer or something and i give out to him and say u could just ask me to move and then he laughs and says sorry. He didnt even realize he was doing it. Best not to read too much into every little thing. Uv known him for a year. Do u trust him?

Thank you for your reply, I hear you. Actually I have knows him for 5 years and we have been official for a year and a bit so I certainly do trust. It was just more a shock that this person is a stranger and i am his GF. Perhaps he could have tapped me or said "hey move someone is behind you" it was a firm grip and he said my name in a frustrated way! BUT look, you are right, it cannot be read into as he has not done that before and I was carelessly browsing an item with no idea of who was around/passing by.

[michelle23]

Id say just put it out of your mind and if it happens again tell him it upsets you and you dont want him to treat you that way xx