Can't break up

[gerrard1]

I have been with my gf for about 5 months now. Our beginning was amazing, we both fell in love, though probably she did to a bigger degree than me. I really love her and care about her, but lately, more like a friend. The romantic love seem to more and more disappear for me. I know myself well, so i felt this coming quite early, after like 2 months, i know from experience that its smart to end the relationship as soon as i get this feeling, cause the longer you keep the relationship going, the more its gonna hurt. I tried to breake up at 2 months, but it totally failed. She is and was madly in love, she is emotionally very unstable.. was on the floor crying and begging, i naivly and emotionally influnced thought; ok, maybe we can work on it and it will all be good again. After some more time, i engaged less and less in the relationship as a consequence of the lack of love, she required more and more love from me, which i wasnt able to give. She broke up cause she didnt get the love she needed. I felt this was the best for both of us. But after about 3 weeks apart she started taking contact, she was sick, had been crying all day for 3 weeks, couldnt do anything, not even get to the doctor due to her illness. She was so depressed that i feared she could even hurt herself, or worse, because of her emotionally instability. Because i still love her i couldnt just watch it, so i helped her back to normal life, went to doctor and everything. All my feelings came back to me, and all the nice memories we had somehow gave me hope, we decided to give it one last chance. I really love her, but its not romantic love, i dont want to be in a relationship. But im afraid of the consequences of breaking up, i dont know if she can handle it, and i dont know how to do it.

[michelle23]

Ok first of all I am not sure how old you are or how many relationships you have been in but it sounds like you are a love junkie. Addicted to the infatuation/adrenaline/butterflies of new love. It is normal for this to wear off after you have been with someone for awhile and the newness of it all goes away so you start to feel normal again. This is the beginning of the relationship. Once the infatuation ends, you can start bonding on a deeper level and that is the beginning of love. During this time you need to get to know that person properly-the good, the bad and the ugly and decide whether you accept them for who they are and love them even with their flaws. That is true love.

You are right though in this situation to want to break up with this girl as this is unhealthy. She has become clingy and dependent which should never happen. I think you should talk to her family/friends about your concerns and tell her the truth. Let them look after her and let her be.