Taking an "L" (Lost) on SEX

[heartache1101]

So I just got in a relationship with this REALLY great guy. His personality is exactly what I'd hope for in a partner. He is affectionate, really sweet in smallest ways, and genuinely cares about my overall well being. I am thankful for him and we've been together for merely a month after 2 months of talking.

My previous relationship was all about sex. My ex and I had a very strong sexual connection which blinded me from seeing how incompatible we were and how little he actually cared about my thoughts/feelings. Once we realized that all we had was Sex, our relationship went downhill fast.

Still my ex knew so much about how to please me in every way and I never had "bad" sex or anything close to it. With my current boyfriend, he is very inexperienced. He also has a relatively small penis and doesn't exactly know how to work it. ALSO he has Erectile dysfunction *sigh* I'm a very patient person and sex isn't everything but this is such a BIG change for me. I don't know how to adjust and the fact that I really want to be with him for a lonnng time is actually kind of scary. Sometimes we have okay sex, we've had good sex once, and lately he hasn't been able to get it up enough to even have sex...

I have no idea what to do about his or if it should even matter. I have a High sex drive and enjoy having good sex naturally. I tried to talk to my partner about it but he's not exactly comfortable and I don't exactly know how to approach him.. any suggesstions?

HELP! THANKS!

[Boisdevie]

You let him know asap that this is a deal breaker and if he's unwilling/unable to sort out his erection problems then the deal is off despite how wonderful and perfect etc etc he is. Also, if his pecker is too small how exactly is that problem going to resolve itself?
You are in denial - he has a wonderful personality blah blah blah, he's so nice blah blah blah but just crap in bed.

[ashley89]

I understand how you feel because sex is so important to me too! I love having sex and when it's with someone you really love and care about it's the best. sometimes with another partner it takes awhile for the two of you to get used to each other's bodies and get into a good groove, but if he has a problem like ED that's not really something you can work on together. maybe he should try going to a doctor? the inexperience and actual sex could maybe be fixed if you just communicate about what you like/dislike but you can't do much about the ED without him going to get help. I'm sorry! I hope things can work out but I would totally be in the same boat as you!

[michelle23]

Maybe he knows about your perfect sex with the ex? Have you said/done anything to make him feel insecure? ED is normally due to performance anxiety. You obviously don't make him feel comfortable in bed. If it has only been a month-id say call it a day and let him meet a girl who is just as inexperienced as him. He will feel more comfortable with her and hell have much better sex..

You can move on and meet someone else.

[bleucandle]

Just go buy him a cockring. Geez, maybe you guys need to ramp up to having sex....Maybe he's nervous about his performance,, and it affects his "salute". Maybe you should take the reigns, and break him off until his weaponry is ready. Put on something sexy. Pretty soon you'll both be like wild rabbits

[HeartIsAching]

Have you communicated any of your concerns to him? Have you told him that you need more? Boisdevie is right about one thing - he needs to sort out his ED. These days it's pretty easy to do.

When you do get him in bed - guide him. Tell him openly what you like and don't like. If he won't take direction, he's not so perfect after all, is he? Lots of guys (me included) LOVE IT when the woman they're with says things like "Oh yeah, just like that" or "That feels really good." and conversely also like to be told if something they're doing isn't working for you.

Also, does he perform orally? Do you? If not, why not? It's a great way to get things going.