How many dates would you give someone you feel lukewarm about?

[MissLili]

I've been on 2 dates with this guy. He's tall, good looking, extremely sweet, very outgoing. But for some reason, I'm just not "feeling" it. I mean, there's a slight attraction that I feel, but it's not intense or major.

So I was curious, how many dates would give somebody you're not sure about? I'm actually at a point where I don't feel like reaching out to him, but I'm also wondering if that would be a mistake on my part, because I could be "missing out" on something good.

Another reason why I'm probably not super into him is because the last guy I dated was pursuing me hardcore from the jump. With this new guy, he seems to be playing it cool (hasn't called, texts me every two days). I guess I want someone who is SURE about me. He may like me, but something is missing. He could be seeing other people, I don't know.

Let me not overthink this. LOL.

Thoughts?

[michelle23]

You shud just ask him all these questions and then make up your mind. Treat it like an interview lol and if he is seeing other people say NEXT.. Thats what i would do. Be upfront. If he seems great you should give it another week or two..

[michelle23]

Also he might just be shy. Maybe you should push to see if you can see him a bit more. See how he reacts. If hes not too keen, forget him

[limh8000]

It's one of two things, he likes you or he doesn't. Being a shy guy though I agree with Michelle23. I really liked this girl, we went on two dates. I am really shy though and never showed her I liked her, I just feel that I don't want to make the girl feel awkward if she's not into me and I show her I like her and then that makes it awkward, so I keep my feelings to myself. However, at the end of the second date she gave me a lot of signs she did like me (complemented me on the restaurant, showed me a video of her dog on her phone, and even said I had earned bonus points with her dad on some things I did for her during our first date). Though I stupidly never made a move. So I decided I was going to show her I liked her on date 3. Was going to get flowers, get more intimate (hugging, holding hands, etc and kiss at the end), but it never happened, because she ended it because she didn't feel a connection between us. And I never had the guts to tell her I liked her after she broke it off, even though I should of, but the fear of being rejected was too much, so I remained quiet...so maybe he's like me...or maybe not...but coming from a shy guy's point of view give him another chance

[limh8000]

Also the whole texting thing, when you like a person (well at least me) I want to text them back as soon as they text me, but for some reason we think if we respond back too early it comes of as needy even though we're really fond of the person. I did this myself with this girl I liked, so don't worry about the texting...he might be thinking as I thought...and the calling well I wanted to but didn't know how she would respond to it so i just stuck with texting...if only we could read each other's minds everything would be so much easier

[michelle23]

Maybe he does just need u to give him a hinto or two that your interezted in him. Its true that most mens biggest fear is rejection and a womens biggest fear is being cheated on so that is y u are both holding back. U need to no u can trust him, he needs to no u like him so maybe if u take the first step u can find out all the answers to the questions ur dying to ask on the next date

[limh8000]

Michelle23 is right on...it's awful to think about how many great relationships were right on the cusp of beginning but never started because the guy and girl were each afraid to make the first move. I know it's usually the guys job to initiate and all, but we're human as well and rejection sucks. If he's been on two dates with you more than likely he's interested in you, unless he's a player (though it doesn't sound like he is). Believe me if a girl gives just one sign she's into the guy (though you as the girl probably know what that sign is better than me) most men will be more than happy to progress the relationship from there, just that one gesture may be all that it takes!