I screwed up really bad please help

[user21352]

I need some advice, because I think I screwed up bad.

I have been talking to this girl for over 2 years through texting and some facebook. We have been there for each other during tough times, when she lost her newborn son (she is single), and when my wife went off and left me she has been a support to talk to through texting. Lately (past 2 months) she has started to like me, she sent hints, she would make comments about how she wisand I told her the truth that I prob wouldn't date anyone and I'll need time to myself to heal. Well let's jump forward to this last month. The more we talked the more she would say things like she wished she had met me before I got married, and even that if I was ever interested in dating she wouldn't mind being a guniea pig if I wanted to see if I was ready. At that time I wasn't interested in anything romantic and I would tell her things like im porbably not going to date etc. but then I started liking her and then we finally met on saturday (Feb 9th), for the first time.

Feb 9 - I always felt being a open book which I thought was just being honest, but I really screwed up. When we met (Feb 9) she was so excited to meet and she was sweet and affectionate (all the things that I love). We talked about a lot of things, she talked about the hole that is there from her baby passing away, she talked about her age and how she wishes by now she could start a family, she told me she has dated a lot of people before, and she shared some personal things etc. and then I thought being an open book and being honest about my self would be good so I began telling her all my negative qualities, pet peeves, and I even blantantly told her that I know she wants to date but once my divorce is final i'll probably just spend a lot of time alone. Well at the time that night she was ok with that and was interested in dating even if it ended in 10 months or so, we kissed hugged etc. talked and each went to our own homes.

Feb 10 (next day) - in the morning I was thinking about everything and realized that what I had said was stupid, because honestly I wanted to date her and I really care for her, heck I knew her for 2 years. We texted some but I felt she was distant and I started to get worried because she has a lot of guys that are interested in her. So I made the decision to go tell her myself that I did want to date her and not just a temporary thing. Well I drove 2 hours to see her at her work (i told her I was coming), and we talked a little, she was distant I knew something was up. WE sat in her car and talked, I told her that I wanted to date her, and she told me she made the decision she didn't want to date me and her reasoning was because she doesn't want to have to wait, especially since I told her that I was probably going to spend alone time after my divorce etc. And she also said she does not want to put herself in a position where she would give her heart to me and then get hurt because of me leaving later.
Well I understood where she came from, but I hated it and I just broke down crying with her it hurt so much. She held me but kept telling me I don't know what to tell you, so I left and went home.

Feb 11 - I am hurting, really hurting. Because I really care for her and wanted to date her exclusively but didn't get to tell her how I really felt last night because I was just broken hearted. And this is where I think I started screwing up. i wanted her to know it wasn't temporary, that I did want a real relationship and I care about her. So i texted i think the whole day I sent 10 texts or so, she responded to one saying "im sorry, i made my choice". Well I kept texting after that, and finally got to the point I told her I love you I don't want to lose you. And I even called her work once that day to order her flowers and she found out. She finally that day texted me "you are scaring me, please stop". I appologized and told her I was so sorry becuase I was trying to show her that I was serious and I really care and didn't want it temporary and then I stopped texting. I also took her off my facebook because honestly I can't look at her without breaking down.

I am so torn about this. All i wanted to do was show her how much I really care for her and how much I screwed up on our first date together. I feel so stupid because I think my friend of 2 years and person who wanted to date me at one point now thinks I am crazy or similar.
Please, ladies I really need your help, I don't know if I love this girl or its that I really care about her.
What would you think if you were her? What is she thinking right now? What should I do? Have I screwed it up too much?

[michelle23]

I think you are better to take some time out and heal especially if you are still hurt over your wife leaving. The reason you broke down in the car was not over this women-it was probably over other pain that is still in your heart.

You need to be alone for now and be emotionally happy and healthy before starting something new. Otherwise, she will just be a rebound whether you intend her to be or not. Also it sounds like she comes with a lot of baggage and I don't think either of you will be good together right now. The fact that she has dated lots of men and never settled down probably means she is not really the relationship type. And it also sounds like if you get together now, it will all happen too fast as she seems eager to start a family