ex-bf isn't normal

[hewp]

Hello all,

I need help with my ex.boyfriend situation.

I'm always too worried about anything, like if he said he's coming at 10 and it's 11 and he isn't there I panic .. not thinking that he's cheating or anything but thinking that something might've happened/accident and so on. and I KNOW it's so so so wrong.. its just the way I am


anyway we've known each other for 8 years, dated for a year (fiance) but we broke up due to many factors and we decided to remain friends..
the break-up part was from his side obviously it's the first time for me to be dumped, but I really loved him and if I had the choice, I wouldn't break up with him even though he isn't like the best boyfriend ever.. but I just loved him I guess., honestly I still do and I'm not thinking of having another guy ever, even if it means I won't have him either.. I think he knows that

The break-up went bad, as I started it but I was angry, then he got angry and I backed-up kind of, and he insisted in the breaking.

As I mentioned I've known him since years, after the break-up he was so quiet and I was worried something is wrong, probably missing us and that's fine really
but after around 3-4 months of the break-up (we were still talking as friends, just saying hi and stuff) he completely changed..

He started talking to over 100 girls, previously he only had like 2-3 girl-friends, I don't understand what does it mean.. he isn't that kind of guy but I know his friends are, probably dragging him there and he got convinced and it's all guys thing? is he just normal trying to find another girl of his life by doing that, or is he just hurt and trying to get revenge over me?

I didn't know about the girls until he told me to be honest, he wanted me to know, is it for me to get jealous or feel guilty? or is he really fine and trying to move on..

when the break-up happened he was worried I'd do that, like hang out with 8723874 guys which worries him because that action in his eyes would be out of anger-hurt something like that, and I told him no way I'd do that. but now he's doing it, does it mean what he said to me? and if so should I do anything or ignore?

Thanks a lot for your help..

[smackie9]

You are just friends now, whatever his does shouldn't concern you. Next time he blabs to you about all these girls he is talking to just come out and ask him why he needs to tell you this. I most certainly can't tell you why, nor can anyone else on this forum can tell you why....so grow a set and ask him yourself.

[basilandthyme]

Usually, I'd respond that he's your ex and as such, what he does should have no relevance. But the fact that he went out of his way to tell you this draws you in even if you don't want to know.

None of us can guess why he's doing this. Could be he wants a new girlfriend, could be that he's just having fun, could be that he's trying to hurt you. I suggest that you move on with 'no contact' so that he can be removed from your life. But if he does arrive and tells you about other girls, respond with "why are you telling me this?"

[HeartIsAching]

Sorry... require some coherence in the sentence structure to divine your meaning.

[Boisdevie]

I have an ex-GF. I don't know if what she does is normal or not because I don't see her. Ever. I just don't understand these idiots who think that they can remain friends afterwards like they think deep down it might work again. SAD, SAD, SAD.

[Wakeup]

but I just loved him I guess., honestly I still do and I'm not thinking of having another guy ever, even if it means I won't have him either..

How very unloving you are to YOURSELF.

Do your best to get yourself away from this BOY and start by going zero contact. He does not love you and you are wasting your dating years on some fantasy that you'd rather have him in this pathetic fashion then not at all. Yes, SAD, SAD, SAD, indeed!

Are you still having sex with him?

[michelle23]

Any man who deals with a break up this way is not a man, hes a little boy who has a lot of growing up to do. Forget him. Go no contact

[VincenzoG91]

I'm always too worried about anything, like if he said he's coming at 10 and it's 11 and he isn't there I panic .. not thinking that he's cheating or anything but thinking that something might've happened/accident and so on. and I KNOW it's so so so wrong.. its just the way I am

Your ex-boyfriend can't cheat on you, because he is your ex. He can see anybody he wants. So can you.

[pcmaster]

Talk with 100 guys and you will understand. Its just so much easyer to kill the pain and be in present when you interact with people rather than alone in hurtful past.

[rhondagraymond]

Talk with 100 guys and you will understand. Its just so much easyer to kill the pain and be in present when you interact with people rather than alone in hurtful past.

i second this