Confused and under appreciated

[aciefacie]

So, I have been with my current boyfriend for two and a half years now. He is 31 and I am 19, I know the age difference sounds bad but I am mature for my age and he is a little immature for his. We have had our ups and downs, he has cheated on me once in the past and i forgave him because he came clean to me. There are a couple other occasions that I think he might have cheated but I don't know for sure. Our relationship has had tons of good points but lately I feel that he doesn't care about me. Instead of doing stuff together, he wants me to sit behind him while he plays video games on his computer. I am all for video games but he never plays anything that I can play too. It is always Fall Out New Vegas and he is on it from the time he gets home to 3-7am every day. Because of this, I have gotten really bored and have made friends of my own. Unfortunately he doesn't want to get to know my friends, doesn't trust me when I am with them, and just gets angry. I have tried several times to calmly talk to him about my feeling under appreciated, and even once I broke out in hysterical tears. Nothing gets through to him. So I decide to spend more time with my friends(whom are a couple) instead of alone in the background of his life. Unfortunately he feels intimidated by my male friend, he thinks that he is interested in me. Now, I know that this is true because my friend(we will call him Kross) told me himself that he has feelings for me. I reciprocate those feelings but would not act on them because I know the pain of being cheated on. I have talked to Kross about this and he agrees, he doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend of two years, "Shelly"(whom has cheated on him 6+ times). We have come to the decision that it is best if we just stay friends right now until we can sort out our own lives. I still have feelings for my boyfriend but I feel like he hardly cares about me. I don't know if I should break up with him or keep trying to work things out. Also, if I do break up with him, I know that Kross isn't going to fall right into my arms, he has his problems to handle as well but it would open another window of opportunity that he could make the decision to jump through. I'm so confused as to how to take this situation on. Any advice? It is greatly appreciated!!!

[HeartIsAching]

Advice? Sure.

Get the hell away from your cheating, emotionally abusive child molester. Figure out why you're drawn to his type, and try not to do it again.

[aciefacie]

When we first started dating he was very fun, kind, intelligent, and honest. Now he seems like the complete opposite. After two years, do you think he is finally acting like himself or is it a phase? He didn't want a relationship with me and nor did I with him in the beginning, it just worked out that way and now here we are. He cheated on me once, as far as I know, and told me about it. That was a little over a year into the relationship. Afterward he went back to his normal self and maybe three months ago he started acting like this. I don't think he is cheating again, he spends all day inside but it does seem like he just doesn't care about me anymore. Maybe I'm wrong though, maybe he is. Do you think he will go back to how he used to be or should I just dump him and move on? I don't know how to let go of a relationship like this, I don't want to hurt either of us...

[HeartIsAching]

No, it's not a phase. It's who he really is showing through now. Even if he does go back to how he was in order to get you back, it won't last.

[rob1984]

acieface, read my thread.. I was neglecting my wife... cause we got comfortable in a time where she needed me most, I too played video games, or focused on making money quickly.. She has been through alot.. your bf does seem immature, but no one here has the right to tell you to leave him, and please do not make that decision on someone telling you on a forum, and your friend kross.. he too should not be involved. Would you want to be your bf and have some girl tell you the same.. your marital issues should remain with him only.. or a therapist.. or random strangers online lol.. You need to communicate with him.. tell him how it is, how you want it to be and what he wants as well. IF then nothing changes.. then you have some thinking to do.

[dickriculous]

I have no problem at all with the age difference and your relationship is still all kinds of fukked up.

HIA is definitely right about one thing - these are probably his true colors. Most of us put on a front in order to attract a mate and the more complacent we get the more we allow our true selves to show and sometimes that self is rather ugly compared to the front we put on.

Actually I do have something to say about the age issue. If he hasn't grown up by the time he's 31, when the fukk is he gonna grow up? A lot of people are getting close to set in their ways by that age yanno. A lot of people go their whole lives without ever actually growing up and he could easily turn out to be one of them. Do you really want to be 28 with two kids and a 40 y/o husband who's let himself go and leaves the infant screaming in the crib because he's too busy playing COD or Battlefield to take care of the lil shit?

[michelle23]

I think you need to walk away from him. Your unhappy most of the time, you don't trust him, your allowing yourself to contemplate being with someone else (even though he has a gf which is wrong). Hes already hurt you once by cheating on you. I mean hes not 15, hes 31 and he should really grow the f up or be alone. Why would you settle for this. Your young with your whole life ahead of you. You have no real commitments or responsibilities and you should be carefree and happy. Just walk away xx

[rhondagraymond]

your love is the problem here. break up with him for a couple of months and see how it goes. you will have a clear picture in front of you then.