getting over a very short fling

[MichaelH]

I'm having difficulties getting over a very short but intense fling. I met someone and spent 3 weeks together, and then they went back to an ex. In that time she was "head over heels in love with me", thought I was perfect, etc. We tried to be friends, but it hurt too much for me - I see pretty women all the time. I've started dating someone, and we have lots of fun, we have chemistry, but I still think about this bloody ex. I think part of it is linked to the fact that we're in similar profession, and she is I think very successful (although maybe she's not as good as she thinks she is). It means my self-esteem in work is affected by her, or the thought of her. She treated me badly, and i don't even really like her.She just seems to lead such a perfect life however

I would love never to think of her again, as it damages me, but it's so difficult. Any advice? Does one ever get over that? We've gone no contact now as I still get upset if I hear from her

[Rowen]

Give yourself time. And I mean time alone- none of this "Oh, I'm giving myself time, but I'm still talking to her." No! You need time to yourself.

As for the girl, you're better off without her. She obviously doesn't know what love really is if she claims you're perfect. No one is perfect; love is merely acknowledging the existence of someone's strengths and flaws and looking past the flaws to see the good in them. On top of that, she told you she loved you and then left you for an ex. That's careless. If she really loved you, she'd care enough about you to say to hell and back with the ex.

Bottom line: Hang in there. You're going to meet a wonderful woman one day who you won't ever make you doubt that you make her happy and that she loves you for who you are at heart. It's all a matter of finding her, and since we're all stuck together on this space rock for our lifespans, our time is too short to pine over those who never respected and cared enough to begin with. Give yourself some time; you'll find the one you're meant to be with. Just be patient.
Hope this helps.

[pcmaster]

Actually I believe that Leona Lewis song "Better in time" can heal the soul.

Taking extra care of yourself daily will make you feel better for sure. Thats the only way how get over it - dont love her, love... yourself.

[michelle23]

I believe you should give one third of the time you were together to heal with no contact. A good tip I got from the program "sex and the city" lol

A month together= 1 1/2 weeks to heal. Sorry OP but if you are still hurt-you need to seek help.

[Wakeup]

I'm having difficulties getting over a very short but intense fling. I met someone and spent 3 weeks together, and then they went back to an ex. In that time she was "head over heels in love with me", thought I was perfect, etc. We tried to be friends, but it hurt too much for me - I see pretty women all the time. I've started dating someone, and we have lots of fun, we have chemistry, but I still think about this bloody ex. I think part of it is linked to the fact that we're in similar profession, and she is I think very successful (although maybe she's not as good as she thinks she is). It means my self-esteem in work is affected by her, or the thought of her. She treated me badly, and i don't even really like her.She just seems to lead such a perfect life however

I would love never to think of her again, as it damages me, but it's so difficult. Any advice? Does one ever get over that? We've gone no contact now as I still get upset if I hear from her

Michael: Your ex doesn't know the difference between Lust and Love and I think you're having the same problem with the definition. Give yourself time to rehab and cleanse from the chemical rush of your sexual infatuation as well as doing the mental exercises you need to do (noted in your other thread) and you'll be through this just fine.

[ashley89]

going no contact is the way to go, it will definitely be hard at first but you will get through this. you only saw each other 3 weeks which may seem like a lot to you but in reality it is not long at all. the good thing about that is that it should be easier to get over! there isn't really any set time it takes to get over someone, but it will happen. just keep from talking to her, focus on yourself and your job or other activities and you'll see that in time thoughts of her will diminish. I'm going through the same type of thing, I had an on and off again fling with a guy for 2 years! it is tough and I still do think of him and occasionally miss him but I am doing ok. you will too! good luck :]