Is he into me?

[dorogoi1]

Hi guys!

My ex-boyfriend and I re-connected recently and I wanted to know if he was into me. We've known each other for 2 years, dated for a few months after I divorced my abusive husband. Has a really messy relationship and broke up.

After our break-up (even though it was really messy), we decided to stay friends because we were the closest people to each other and we work together and see each other every day. He's always really nice and respectful and makes a point to check up on me. His "ex-girlfriend" - a married woman that he had an emotional affair with and not a physical one, is batshit crazy has made our lives a living hell (oh, the stories I have to tell) and has been a major stress and cause of fights between us. She works with us as well (I know, a really bad situation)

Over the past few weeks, we started getting closer and he's invited me over to his place for a dinner quite a few times and we constantly talk while at work or email when we're at home. I invited him to dinner on Wednesday and he spent the night for the first time in months. Thursday, we had an out with our workmates that ended in his "ex-girlfriend" causing a scene, yelling at both of us and slapping him across the face. We fought about her that night and stayed up pretty much all night fighting/talking. Friday night, he invited me over for dinner, we spent the night together. That night he mentioned how we should invite one of my friends (she's also a coworker) and her bf for dinner at his place. Saturday morning, he invited me to go to the zoo and a plant conservatory then took me out to lunch. He again brought up how "we" should invite some of our colleagues/friends to have dinner with us at his place. At the end of the day, he asked if I enjoyed our date, which I did very much - it was a wonderful time. But, I realized that he used the word "date" so a few minutes later, I asked him if it was and his response was: what do you think? and after talking about it for a couple of minutes, he said: "it's like we've divorced and are having dinner to see each other again." I have NO IDEA wtf that means. He walked me to a cab and kissed me on my lips goodbye.

I'm not sure what we are but I'm nervous that I may have been placed in the fwb category. Any advice?

[basilandthyme]

You'll only be in the fwb category if you put out.

As for being interested in him, what has changed to make you think the relationship would work this time around?

[dorogoi1]

We both went thru individual counseling and he mentioned going to couples counseling. It didn't work out not because we were incompatible but because we were both going through a really rough time and took it out on each other. We still have slight feelings of resentment towards each other but we're working on it with each other openly and honestly.

As for putting out, I have feelings for him and that's not all we do - it's how we end hours of talking. I know if I don't put out, he'll still want to see me. I just don't know if he sees me as anything more than just a friend or just a fwb. Or maybe he's making it obvious and I'm just clueless. My therapist is out of town so I won't be able to discuss it with her for a few weeks and just wanted a few opinions.

[michelle23]

I am confused. Did he have the emotional affair while you and he were together? Why is this OW causing so much trouble? Why did you and he break up? Does he want to start dating you again? Or is it just sex?