Quite a dilemma

[pilot2fly]

Hey guys and girls. I've got a long story here (without being boring) so grab a cup of coffee and sit down for this one.

Before I mention the girl, I want to say that me, her, and another guy (best friend) and his wife are all good friends. We don't get to hang out too often because of work and crazy schedules, but when we do we all make a damn good time out of it. The girl I'm starting to develop feelings for is 21 and I'm 24. I've only known this girl for a couple of months. However, I've come to know her as very down to earth, funny, kind, intelligent, and all around great girl. This is the kind of girl you bring home to your parents, if you know what I mean. It seems all I see nowadays are girls wanting to go out and get so wasted and just bang the next guy. This girl and me like to drink and have a good time, but we both have good morals and standards.

This past Saturday, I met up with my best friend and his wife at their house, and the girl I like met us there too. We bought some liquor for a fun night at his place and decided to go bowling before drinking heavily.

Now, let's stop here real quick. Here comes the dilemma. Are you ready? She has a boyfriend. And not only that, wait for it, he is friends with me and the other guy I've been talking about. I know. I know EXACTLY what you're thinking. So am I. I'm not the type of guy who goes around trying to grab girls from their boyfriends, especially when her boyfriend is friends with me. She came alone because her boyfriend had the flu (and still does). And let's just say he gets really angry when he drinks. Three times now when we've all hung out, he would get really nasty and jealous when we go out and have fun. She's just about had it and the last straw drinking wise was my birthday last month when he basically said "it's over," "**** you bitch," and another nasty one, "dance with me you ****ing bitch" multiple times and pushed her at one point. Needless to say, the next day she had a LONG conversation with him and called him a coward and he promised her that he would no longer drink alcohol. A week later, sure enough, he was drinking alcohol again.

Ok, here is where the kicker comes in. We were bowling and having a wonderful time. Then my friends' wife says to me "Hey, we need to get you a girlfriend." The girl I like immediately wraps her arms around me and says "if so-and-so doesn't want me (her angry drunk boyfriend), I'll date you." At that point I smiled and embraced her, and said a few funny things to make her laugh.

After bowling, we all went back to my buddy's place and spent the night, drank, played a fun drinking game, and had a good time. I put my arm around her and she cuddled up with me for pretty much the rest of the night. She was happy that her boyfriend wasn't there, because she could finally let loose and have fun without having to hold back. We really talked a lot and connected, and not because of the alcohol. Before we went to bed she said I love you and really enjoy spending time with you (me). I could tell she was the happiest she's been in a long time. I pretty much affirmed how she felt when I text'd her a couple of days later and she was still so happy about that night. I believe she has crush on me as well, but shes in the same situation as me. But then again, she was throwing me a few signs.

Not one single good thing was said about her boyfriend that night. Now this guy is a decent guy don't get me wrong, but he's dated some questionable people before. His previous girlfriend didn't like me or my buddy/his wife. So the guy literally dropped us for over a year, which isn't what friends do. She even said at one point "I'll always love him but I just can't deal with it anymore" and they had a little argument over his flu that day. See where this is going?

To wrap this story up, I'll go ahead and say I'm not "head over heals" or anything like that. Right now it's definitely a crush, and want to spend more time with the girl and get to know her better. But now I have to bring my dilemma back up, because I don't want to cause trouble between my friend (her boyfriend). And if they break up, which is likely, how would he feel about me dating her? Probably not too good. But I would be more okay with it at that point. After all, the guy did drop his best friends for a year to be with some girl who ended up breaking up with him through an e-mail message.

The next morning me and my best friend told her she could hang out any time and that she didn't have to feel obligated to bring her boyfriend, and she agreed. In fact, we've all agreed to spend more time with each other as well.

So, what do I do? I'd love to get a female prospective on this one as well.

[Wakeup]

Get your own girlfriend fer christ-sakes. WTF is wrong with all you young men that want to cuckhold friends and boink their girlfriends. She's a big girl and if she's treated like shit then she should have the good sense to leave the douche.

Notice how she said "if (insert her bf's name here) doesn't want me, you can date me" Do you like just being better then nothing?

[michelle23]

I dont care how unhappy she is, how nasty he is, how good you make her feel blah blah blah. Bottom line here IS she DOES have a BF get it?and you and her snuggling, getting all cosy, having personal one on one chats is her cheating on him..

How would you feel if your gf was doing that with some other lad?

If shes so miserable-why is he still th her bf? You have to question her self esteem there if shes willibg to put up with that crap from him and id also question her integrity with the way shes been behaving with you.
Anyone who cheats or hops from one relatiobship to the next without some time out in between has issues.

Shes not as perfect as you think she is. I suggest you cut the crap, stop thinking about your friends girl, avoid her as much as you can and go find your own women.
There are plenty of women in the world who have the qualities you said your looking for so go find one

[searock]

If she wanted to be with you, since you're single, all she'd have to do is to break up with her boyfriend. Has she done it? No. She evidently doesn't want you that badly.

Stop hanging out with her without her boyfriend, and ffs stop flirting with her.