He makes me wait for days for a response regarding plans

[Maple1714]

He isn't that in to you....you wouldn't be questioning it if he was. You are just hoping that your gut is wrong. Life is always busy...people will go to great lengths to make themselves available to the ones they want to spent time with.

Please move on...you're wasting your time if its a committed relationship you're looking for.

[FriendlyStrange]

The "casual" side doesn't bother me. I have had casual things before and it was fine, because it was clear. I guess I want to figure out his logic so I can know how to respond if I come across it again as it makes no sense to me. The same question keeps coming to me...this is a big city we live in, there are tons of other people, why bother with a girl that works nights and takes night classes if you're not even into her? Is he just trying to mess with me for fun? If he wants someone to see when he's got nothing better to do then I'm not so convenient, because I can't be invited out last minute and there are several days a week where I am definitely out for my classes. I can accept someone not being interested, it happens. It's just that he still seems to try and make these plans to see me and I don't know why, all it'd take from him is one final message to tell me that he isn't interested and then he's free...I'm really not asking for much, just clarity and closure. What saddens me the most isn't even really about him specifically, it's about myself. I don't do all the stereotypical "crazy girl" stuff like sending tons of texts and calls, I don't cling and yet I'm still not even worth a goodbye message?

Ugh, I hate people

Just to throw another thought out there. Does he ever text or check his phone when you guys hang out? If you've never noticed then maybe he really just doesn't check his phone that often.

I am always a big texter and I found out once that the guy I was texting took forever to respond (but always gave really long responses) bc he had a limited texting plan so he only responded if it was not like a one word thing. It was something that simple.

I have never really noticed him paying much attention to his phone, I don't think he's a big texter. I know I do it myself a lot even, I read texts and decide I'll reply to them later on and then forget. But if it's about planning something I try to reply quicker, and it still is unlikely that this guy doesn't check his phone/facebook for two days or something. Especially as I don't even write very often.

[bearz]

Let's put it this way, even though you are not always available at a moment's notice, you are still willing to see him if time permits. He knows this and the worst that can happen to him is that you say no. He's not losing anything (assuming he's really not into you). It really seems like he wants to keep his options open, especially since you are not really committed to each other.

[Wakeup]

why bother with a girl that works nights and takes night classes if you're not even into her?

If he's getting no strings attached sex, then you're just naturally going to be one that he'll "bother with". If you are'nt available, then he'll go to whomever else he could be dating and also getting sex from.

[FriendlyStrange]

To stick with my "I don't chase people" rule, I've decided to "vanish". Not to the extent of blocking all ways to contact me (I want to keep civil, there is a chance we could run into eachother again via a mutual friend), but I am not going to make any attempt to reach him. I'm sad about the dent in my ego much more than not seeing him, I really don't know what I did wrong and why I am not good enough for simple honesty. I'm feeling pessimistic and I guess I'll just need a little time to build up confidence in myself again, but I'll get over it. I just hope there's people out there who can be clear with me, people are so confusing.

[michelle23]

Don't let it bother you, don't take it as a personal insult and certainly don't let it damage your ego or your confidence. See it as a positive that you are not wasting time on someone who isn't willing to invest time in you and its his loss-not yours.

People come and go-its part of dating and you have to learn from each bad experience and all the frogs you kiss as it teaches you what you don't want in a man and it will ultimately lead you to mr right

Some men are not worth the air you breath and learn to spot a troll when you see one.

Good luck xx

[smackie9]

To stick with my "I don't chase people" rule, I've decided to "vanish". Not to the extent of blocking all ways to contact me (I want to keep civil, there is a chance we could run into eachother again via a mutual friend), but I am not going to make any attempt to reach him. I'm sad about the dent in my ego much more than not seeing him, I really don't know what I did wrong and why I am not good enough for simple honesty. I'm feeling pessimistic and I guess I'll just need a little time to build up confidence in myself again, but I'll get over it. I just hope there's people out there who can be clear with me, people are so confusing.

You are not simply good enough? That's your own insecurities talking. You can't expect everyone you go out with or sleep with to want to be interested in a relationship or fall for you. It's just the way life is. Like I said before, if your expectations are not being met you just move on, and it's his loss. To be honest, you hardly have anything invested, so you are not losing out on anything if you walk away.