Break up from compounded stress, need advice to try to win her back. LONG READ

[michelle23]

Also everyone has past trauma/hurt that put our defenses up but part of falling in love is slowly stripping those defenses back. Your afraid of being rejected or of her seeing that you are not perfect and you don't want her to know that your family are not perfect but real love is when she knows everything and still loves you.

Do not be afraid to put it all out there. Part of healing and forgiving your family for past mistakes is letting it all out, processing it, coming to terms with it and getting her opinion on it. She may even be able to shed some light on why your family are like that.

My Bf's mum is quite cold and un-affectionate. She has a permanent frown on her face and complains a lot but he absolutely adores her as she was an excellent mother, always put them first, never let them down and they never went without. She struggled to make sure they always had the best clothes/food etc and she made a huge effort to create positive/happy memories and family days out even though his father could be a nightmare a lot of the time. He has so much respect for her and so do I because of all of that.

I used to find her difficult because I always felt like an outsider looking in as shes so unemotional but I understand her and don't hold that against her. And eventually she let me in-she talks to me about her childhood and her husband and the past with her kids etc and that makes me feel included and a part of their family which is nice.

You should try to do the same. Let her know everything and she can make up her own mind about it all.

[alwaystrying]

Wow, your bf's mom is identical to mine and how you perceived her in the beginning is EXACTLY how Krista perceives my mom now. I'm still writing this letter as I thought an email or printed version is impersonal. My hand is getting quite tired from attempting to print these words nicely.

[alwaystrying]

update: she received my letter as I told her I put some of her belongings in her mailbox as a trick. *just to surprise her*. before i did this, she had actually emailed me first while she was at work. asked me how I was doing even tho i am sure she knew the answer. she said she was hurting and feels sick to her stomach. I naturally wanted to tell her i was hurting too but instead told her I was sorry she felt horrible and sick while at work. She said stuff like she wished things were better and this and that, but never really came off as she wanted to get back together. I kept my replies short with 'okay and i understand', when in reality i was pretty distraught and wanted to tell her i love her. I assumed she got the letter around 6pm and it is currently 7:30. I am hoping my letter gets read without grief and with an open heart.

[michelle23]

Hey, did she read the letter?? Any luck with it?