I feel tremendous amounts of pain every time I like someone

[muno]

I have never kissed a girl or have been in a relationship. I have a job, but I still live at home to pay for school. I am always doing things for my sister and her best friend. I never get shown affection and get one hug a year from a non-family member. So when I get shown affection, it really means a lot to me. It has become so easy for me to like a person, but I never feel like I'm good enough for anyone.



My friend cuddled with me one night and it was one of the most amazing nights even though I didnt sleep well. We just threw our bodies all over each other and it felt so amazing. Now I feel attracted to her, I've always kind of liked her, but after that night, everything just went on as if it didnt matter and the pain I had to endure was so great that I could physically feel it through my body. I felt the worst I had in days. This is probably just really stupid. I feel stupid as I write this, but the pain is too great and I dont know how to deal with these feelings.

I've known this girl for a long time. I think she still sees me as just a friend. I've crushed on her before a long time ago and she told me that she sees me as a brother. It's just so hard to understand it because you don't cuddle like that with your siblings... The whole thing is just so confusing and painful and I don't want to give up.

[ashley89]

maybe you need therapy, you shouldn't feel physical pain when you like someone, it's supposed to be a good feeling

[muno]

maybe you need therapy, you shouldn't feel physical pain when you like someone, it's supposed to be a good feeling

haha no. I feel this way because she doesn't like me, but shows me this kind of affection. it's so confusing and painful to me

[ashley89]

I don't understand... you said you felt physical pain throughout your body after you cuddled. what kind of pain? you should talk to her about how you feel & see what she says

[muno]

Okay. I want to tell her my feelings. But I'm afraid of her being upset at me. She just had a best friend completely shut her out out of his life because he had feelings for her but she didn't for him. So I don't want to make her feel like I'm a potential repeat, even though I would never do that. I feel sick to my stomach. I'm so nervous.

[Rowen]

Okay. I want to tell her my feelings. But I'm afraid of her being upset at me. She just had a best friend completely shut her out out of his life because he had feelings for her but she didn't for him. So I don't want to make her feel like I'm a potential repeat, even though I would never do that. I feel sick to my stomach. I'm so nervous.

Why don't you tell her in a way that reassures her if she doesn't feel the same way, you're not going to press those feelings on her?

I went through something like that with the last man I talked to. By the time I realized how I felt about him, he was taken, and I didn't want to ruin my friendship with him, so I kept it inside. Well, it was eventually eating me up inside, so I confessed this to him to be honest with him and tell him that I respected him, his relationship, and his boyfriend too much to allow it to come between us- that he'd hear nothing of my feelings. That I was telling him strictly for the sake that our friendship could move past it. While he didn't feel the same at the time and he was obviously taken, we were able to work past it because he knew I was acknowledging his feelings weren't returned and valued our friendship too much to let my feelings destroy it.

It's your call, though.

[muno]

Why don't you tell her in a way that reassures her if she doesn't feel the same way, you're not going to press those feelings on her?

I went through something like that with the last man I talked to. By the time I realized how I felt about him, he was taken, and I didn't want to ruin my friendship with him, so I kept it inside. Well, it was eventually eating me up inside, so I confessed this to him to be honest with him and tell him that I respected him, his relationship, and his boyfriend too much to allow it to come between us- that he'd hear nothing of my feelings. That I was telling him strictly for the sake that our friendship could move past it. While he didn't feel the same at the time and he was obviously taken, we were able to work past it because he knew I was acknowledging his feelings weren't returned and valued our friendship too much to let my feelings destroy it.

It's your call, though.

Okay. I explained my feelings and everything. She decided to come over to my house to talk. This is what she said.

She told me that she always kind of had feelings for me too, but she doesn't want to be with me because we have a good friendship and she doesn't want to ruin it. Then that was it. After words, my sister asked what we talked about and if we were done talking and she was like, "yeah, but..." Then when she had to go, she left quickly without saying goodbye, but I was quick enough to say, "have a good time at the movie." "Bye."

[Rowen]

Just reassure her that you're not trying to make something more of your friendship then. Just be her friend and don't mention your feelings. Or if she brings them up, just tell her you respect her wishes and won't let it ruin things- that you'll always be her friend.

Don't freak out. Just act natural- like it never happened.

[muno]

Ok um. She doesn't seem as happy when I talk to her and she's talking about making out with this guy. um what? Is she trying to make me jealous or something? Or is it just me....


She said goognight to me and obviously she's still up tweeting...


Do I just say 'whatever,' brush it off and just keep moving on?

[michelle23]

I think you should forget about this girl and start working on your own self esteem and insecurity issues. You need to feel good about yourself and who you are and be in a healthy place emotionally to be in a healthy relationship.

[muno]

Thanks. Yeah, I feel really good and confident now. I'm just going to go to the University campus and start making friends and talk to girls.

[Rowen]

She's probably just trying to establish boundaries between you two and act as if nothing ever happened. Shrug it off, and move on. You know where you stand with her. You're friends, and that's all you'll be. Go mingle with some girls once you've had a little time to heal, and see what happens.

[muno]

Thank you guys so much. I am dancing to music in my room right now.

[michelle23]

Just be yourself, relax and build up your confidence. You will meet someone special who likes you for you