Alone and Rejected...in a different country.

[YadaYadaYada]

So me and Mr.X hooked up a year ago when I was on holiday, he ended abruptly because he thought I was looking for a serious relationship, just to be fair, I know you're going to judge me, he wasn't the only guy I dated, so yeah. I came back to my country and a year has passed, I had too much going on in my life and the job at the time didn't pay me at all so I was not doing so well. Then not too long ago, he emailed me out of the blue and offered if he could pay for the ticket to go back and visit him. I took that chance and said yes. Although I did notice that he had second thoughts, but all the paperwork was already in motion so we decided to go ahead with the plan.

There were so many obstacles during the paperwork process and I had so many problems that I had to deal with at home, I confided him and thought he's a nice guy. Long story short, I came a couple of days ago, I'm staying at his place. But lo and behold, that prince charming turns out to be a jerk. He did nothing all day, slept throughout the day, and glued himself with his laptop and phone. The first night, I wanted to cook for him, so I had to go to the supermarket, if it wasn't for that, I would prolly stuck at home. So yes, the only thing I've seen so far was just a supermarket, and I'm in a different country. I told him I wanted to go outside and explore the city, but he's very avoidant. He even avoids physical closeness. We would kiss each other and then he let go of his hands from me and went outside to grab a drink.

Today, I decided I want to go outside and explore the city alone, with or without him. But again he was asleep. I was dressed up and ready but then I tried to understand him so I slept next to him, even when I was totally awake. He woke up at 5pm, he checked his phone and I asked if he was OK he threw away the adapter and left the room, I asked if he wanted me to cook or if he would prefer take outs, he didn't give me an answer.

So I saw him glancing at my stuff that I put outside (the bags, the make up) because I intended to leave the house. He didn't seem to like it, he then received a call, with a very weird way, he just said "OK". I heard a woman talking from the other side but I couldn't make out of it. Then he touched my shoulder as I was washing the dishes/eavesdropping and he said he's going to his Mom's. And he said he won't be home till tomorrow or the day after. He asked me if I can survive, I thought what he meant was survive the feeling, I said OK, I said he could do whatever he wants, I know he was avoiding me and I wanted to talk about that but he didn't give me the chance. He said he missed his privacy, I told him I gave him his space, but apparently it wasn't enough, and he asked when would I have my own place, I answered, and then he said sorry.

Then that's it. He left me alone in his house with no money, no food. Just this laptop. I really want to get out of here, but financially I won't get paid till next week, and my own place won't be ready till next week either. I've been trying to contact people I know who are willing to help me crash at their place until I get my own place. Because I think he doesn't know that I'm really hurt and I don't want to stay at a place where I'm unwelcomed. I want to cry, bawl my eyes out, but I'm done. He's just a child. Thanks for reading my rant, if you have some advice, please do share. Thanks, again.

[bearz]

Why exactly did you go back to him and what were your intentions? At first it sounded like you were just visiting him for a few days, but you actually MOVED there just because of him, just because he paid for the plane ticket? What about a job?

[YadaYadaYada]

More like a three months visit. I work online so it doesn't matter. My intention was to see if it works out. I had no expectation whatsoever unless that expectation was being treated well.

[bearz]

So you moved to a different country for 3 months to stay with someone you used to date a year ago and who just messaged you saying you should come back and he'd pay for it? He didn't mention that he loves you/misses you?

[YadaYadaYada]

Nope. He's avoids any affection, physical or even verbal. And my plan is not just to be with him for three months. I want to travel to places and look for school too, and I thought he would join me, like travel buddies. But instead he sit at home with his windows shut, rejecting me and he didn't want to go out. At all.

It's frustrating for me, so now I'm looking for options to get out of this house.

[bearz]

Well, I would tell you that it was stupid to just go there. But that's not going to change your current situation.

Unfortunately, I think you're stuck there unless you can get some money or someone can give you money so you can either move back home, or get your own place.

[YadaYadaYada]

I take risks, I know, that's why I'm not really upset about it. I will get my own place, but won't be till next week. Do you think I should move to the couch and acting all distancey until I get my own place? LOL. I'm meeting up with friends tomorrow, maybe they can help me out.

[bearz]

Well, what difference would that make if he already doesn't give a rat's ass about you? Might as well stay comfy while you can.

[YadaYadaYada]

But I feel like I'm an unwanted guest. If I could leave I'd leave right now. If he comes back tomorrow and asks me to leave, where should I put my last thread of pride. I guess the point is I want to leave before I see him again.

[bearz]

Hopefully your friends can help you out and let you stay with them. Not sure where else you could crash for free, I mean your only other choice would be a hotel.

[YadaYadaYada]

Fingers crossed. After next week, I'll have my own place and I can do whatever I want. For now I'm stuck here. Thanks for the advice. I needed to let it out.

[bearz]

It's always good to vent sometimes. I hope you can get everything sorted out. Good luck to you!

[YadaYadaYada]

Thanks :-) You too!

[pcmaster]

Its sounds like guy have lived alone for a very long time and forget how to interact with people. Its not like he mean it but he dont care about himself so dont expect him to do more for you than he does for himself.
So dont feel bad about it its one of these cases where its not you its him.

[YadaYadaYada]

Its sounds like guy have lived alone for a very long time and forget how to interact with people. Its not like he mean it but he dont care about himself so dont expect him to do more for you than he does for himself.
So dont feel bad about it its one of these cases where its not you its him.

Thanks. I feel a lot better now.