How have you all dealt with...

[brokenhearted91]

... Your exes moving on when you still love/care about them?

Some may have done it quicker than others but how have you or others you know dealt with it? What's your advice for anyone else going through the same thing?

I'm finding this the hardest part of my breakup. I'm sure some of you have read I still live with my ex and knowing he's texting someone new (although I don't fully know what is going on, I'm just presuming) but the thought of it is still heartbreaking.

[michelle23]

Find your own rebound. Text others, join a dating site, whatever to boost your confidence. Even a fwb may help. Get out there and find someone new.

[brokenhearted91]

Fwb? Yeah that's what I've been trying to do... Get out there and have some fun with friends at least. But it feels weird the thought of being with anyone else, and because I still love him it kinda feels like cheating if that makes sense? And I know this is stupid, but because he was the first guy that have me a chance and he was my first relationship, I feel like its gonna be hard to find someone else that wants me.

[michelle23]

rhes moving on and you need to do the same. you cant sit there feeling sorry for yourself. fwb means friends with benefits. i dont normally reccommend it but you defo need a rebound or just boost your confidence. stop thinking hes the only one that would want you-thats bull! you need to meet new people so get out and do whatever it takes to make friends.

even a bit of flirting will help you. if your afraid of rejection-dont be. we all get rejected-its part of life. it doesnt mean ur not good enough-it just means ur not that persons type but you may be the next persons.

i no its hard but you have to try and move on. just casually date, talk to lads online, start texting someone.. whatever makes you feel better xx

[michelle23]

when u move out-it will get easier.

[kskts6115]

I'm not sure about the whole rebound thing.. For at least myself personally I think it wouldn't do me any good and might make me feel even worse. It's all about knowing what will work for you. If you think it will help then go for it, but keep is casual because I think the break up is too fresh to really get involved with someone right after.

And it does suck so much having the other person move on and maybe even move on with someone else. I know the feeling. For me the weirdest thing is not talking and not knowing anything about his life.. I just care so much and it sucks when it's one sided, but the best thing is time. It's the only thing that makes the pain go away. Even though you don't notice it, it becomes easier and easier. So just keep looking forward and keep doing positive things. Exercise helps a lot too!

[michelle23]

shes living with him right now and hes prob rubbing it in her face so she needs a distraction. something to keep her busy until she can move out. casual rebound will do you good

[kskts6115]

I don't think you can say that it will do her good because you don't actually know her. Like I said she should do what is best for herself and if it is having a rebound then she should do it.. but I don't think you should go around telling people to have rebounds because they aren't meant for everyone. If anything she should really do is 1.move out and since she won't or can't do that, she should avoid being around him as much as possible. Go out, study at the library, go to the gym, and just live her life pretending that he is not in the picture.

[Love'sReject]

I whack it thinking about the time I felt her up (farthest I've gone), a few years after breaking up I added her on myspace, talked about getting back together..still imagine what if..

[basilandthyme]

I don't think you can say that it will do her good because you don't actually know her. Like I said she should do what is best for herself.

With all due respect, the OP is asking for advice. It's one thing to give unwanted advice, but there's nothing wrong with giving an opinion when it's asked for.

And the OP doesn't know what's best for herself. If she DID know, she wouldn't be here asking advice from strangers.

[brokenhearted91]

I can see both your sides point of view if I'm honest. I think that if I met someone, I wouldn't not get involved but I definitely wouldn't let it get anything more than casual. I don't want to close any doors completely, because you never know the 'one' might come along and if I close doors I might never know! At the same time though, I do still love my ex so I think it's important to focus on getting over that before I could consider ever entering into something really serious (I would kind of still feel like I was cheating on him as silly as that sounds?) I would like to go out and speak to more people, even if it is just to build my confidence but I guess I am scared of rejection (especially now because I already feel so rejected) so it's difficult for me to "put myself out there". But thank you for all your advice so far guys, sometimes it's good to read advice from people with a clearer head than yourself.

P.s. could this girl he's sniffing after be a rebound for him too, even if he's the one that ended it?

[michelle23]

I don't think you can say that it will do her good because you don't actually know her. Like I said she should do what is best for herself and if it is having a rebound then she should do it.. but I don't think you should go around telling people to have rebounds because they aren't meant for everyone. If anything she should really do is 1.move out and since she won't or can't do that, she should avoid being around him as much as possible. Go out, study at the library, go to the gym, and just live her life pretending that he is not in the picture.

Believe me I never recommend rebounds normally. But if you go back and read brokenhearted last few posts you may understand why I think it would do her good. Her self esteem is very very low and she needs to know other people in this world will want her and treat her better than he did. She cant see life past him, she thinks the sun shines out of his ass but he treats her like a doormat and now hes being cruel to her (in my opinion) and just crushing her self esteem more.

If she met other people she would realize that he is not the only person who would give her the time of day (plenty of men would love to be your man brokenhearted-you just need to believe it)

[michelle23]

I can see both your sides point of view if I'm honest. I think that if I met someone, I wouldn't not get involved but I definitely wouldn't let it get anything more than casual. I don't want to close any doors completely, because you never know the 'one' might come along and if I close doors I might never know! At the same time though, I do still love my ex so I think it's important to focus on getting over that before I could consider ever entering into something really serious (I would kind of still feel like I was cheating on him as silly as that sounds?) I would like to go out and speak to more people, even if it is just to build my confidence but I guess I am scared of rejection (especially now because I already feel so rejected) so it's difficult for me to "put myself out there". But thank you for all your advice so far guys, sometimes it's good to read advice from people with a clearer head than yourself.

P.s. could this girl he's sniffing after be a rebound for him too, even if he's the one that ended it?

You have the right attitude. It would be a bad idea to get too serious so keep it casual. Don't fear rejection. We all get rejected and its not a big deal. There are billions of people in the world and you cant be everyone's cup of tea right? but there are thousands that would love to be with you-jeez even millions

Yes she more than likely is a rebound but don't dwell on it. Plus what goes around comes around darling and hell get what he deserves. Just wait and see.

[kskts6115]

Believe me I never recommend rebounds normally.

I've seen you recommend rebounds several times already.

But I think keeping things casual is key because you still have feelings for your ex and are still hurt over it and that's not just going to go away with hooking up with some other guy. You'll feel better while you are doing it, but after you might feel worse. And that's all I'm trying to do is make you aware of the after. I definitely think you should go out and meet new people and have fun. Focus on yourself right now. The only person that can make you happy is you and once you accomplish that then you can be ready to let someone else in.

[michelle23]

I've seen you recommend rebounds several times already.

lol I have suggested them to a few people who are having a hard time moving on. But I always recommend it as a last resort.