what does it all mean and what should i do next?

[sweetmama83]

Hi everyone, i will try to keep this as simple as poss. right me and the ex been together 10 months, everything was perfect when 2.5 weeks ago he broke up with me because apparently didnt love me anymore (even though the day before he was saying how much he did) and he gave some really silly excuses like not suddenly wantingf a baby in the future (i already have 2 kids from previous replationship) and he said that he is destined to remain alone etc... anyway i was devestated and we didnt speak for a week. on the 7th day i actually wrote him a letter and posted it just talking about my feelings and that i was always here for him. (he suffers from depression, and i think it was him pushing me away). he text me that evening and said "thank you for your letter, il have a read of it again and give myself time to think" and then just told me about how he had injured his hand and what his tests from the doctors said and "hope ure ok". i left it at that and then 4 days later i just text him saying "hope ur hand is ok, am here if you need me". he replied saying "hand still hurts, glad your'e ok".
right so what do i do now??. do i leave it and wait for him? wait another week and then say that i miss him?. i really dont believe he wanted to break up with me and it was just his depression talking, dont see how u can go from wanting to marry someone to not wanting to be with them in 1 day!. especially since his reply to my letter was il read it again and give myself time to think. also what does it mean from a male perspective? sorry for the long post
x

[basilandthyme]

Let's turn this around: Let's assume this was his depression (and not the fact that he's simply not interested anymore), why do you want a guy who's so mentally unstable that he'd push you away? At the very least, you should expect a partner to be keeping his depression managed and not push you away when he feels like it.

But if you do want a guy who'd do this to you, I suggest you don't contact him. He already knows you're there and that you're open to having him back. Leave the ball in his court. If he does come back, you want to know it's because HE wanted it and not because you asked for it. Besides, having a bit of dignity and not reminding him that you're still available is a better look. And there's something to be said for being distant and allowing him time to miss you.

Lastly,if he does come back to you, do not accept him unless he's done some major re-thinking on his life and the way he's managed it. You want to be confident that this won't be a yearly occurrence

[Sekret]

This is just too complicated. Nothing you can do about it and how long you'd keep coddling him hoping he will reciprocate? You've made your views clear, he knows exactly how you feel. Depression is NO excuse. If he likes you then he will make an actual attempt to let you know he loves you, and wants to be with you.

Say it is depression and you keep coddling him. What happens six months later when things are exacly where they at now? If he wants to then HE should make an effort. Up to him. If he doesn't time to move on.

[michelle23]

you need to accept its over and get on with your life. cut all contact with him. in time youll heal and be in a better place to get back out there