HI to all of you!
What i`m about to say might sound crazy, but it`s as true as possible...
So 2 years ago i met this girl, online, and everything was fine, we are different nationalities, but even despite that we met, and had a beautiful relationship. I couldn`t see her very often, due to the fact that i was still living in another country, but when i visited her, everything was perfect. Now, the problem started when we ware communicating online, because she always was a bit ignorant online, and i was always getting angry for that and started huge fights, but despite that she bared me till now...i also need to mention that i said some words that might have hurt her, or so, the thing is that she is very shy, and not so confident in herself, and i think the words that i said, made her feel even worse..
Anyway, despite all those things, we kept being together, since 2010...
But now comes the biggest problem....at th end of 2012, i spent 1 month at her house, being with her, and, to be honest i was a major jerk, but she was also treating me very bad, without a reason, which let to huge fights again, meaning that in 4 weeks, 3 we slept in separate rooms... In January i left, and we continued fighting via internet, for like another 1.5 months or so, til we decided it`s better to take a break and see what happens, we both agreed on it, but second day, she messaged me, asking if i still wanna go to that concert that we planned before our fight, and i accepted, because i knew the bad things that i did, and i wanted to make her happy by going with her to the concert.
So the time came, and i visited her again for the concert, now when i got to her place, i wanted to talk things out, face to face, and she accepted, but she said that she isn`t ready for a lifetime relationship, and that she really doesn`t know what to do... I accepted that too, and the 2nd day we went to the concert, now when we got back (that was Sunday), i told her that Monday i`ll leave, and she asked me to stay with her till next week, so i did, and things worked out extremely perfect, except that sexual life wasn`t so...intense anymore. (but that`s not the problem for me right now).
The week flew by, and i had to leave again...we continued chatting, in a very nice, warm, and calm manner, like never before, until yesterday when i asked her again about her feelings for me, and about how she sees our relationship, because she seemed even more distant that before....
Her answer was this "I still don`t know if i`m ready to have a lifetime relationship, and i love you, but not so much as before, but that doesn`t mean i can`t get to love you like before in the future" ...
Now i have to mention, that despite the fact that she said "i love you", even since i know her, she was never ready to sacrifice herself, or to fight for our love, and that always made me confused, plus that yesterday her shower was much more important than giving me another 10 minutes to finish what i had to say, and in the evening it was even worse, making it sound that i`m the one who doesn`t let her go to bed...
So now...due to the fact that i honestly can`t live like this anymore, without knowing what`s on her head tomorrow, i decided for a break, i told her yesterday about it, and her reaction was "...", i don`t honestly know if she believed me or not, because she knows very well that i love her more than everything on this earth...
Now my question is, why does she do that if she love me? Why doesn`t fight for our love? Does she really love me, or i`m just an obsession for her?
I really love her, and this break will kill me, also i`m not ready to lose her, so ...please, any advice would be welcome...I would also like to know what girls think about this, and if you have a question about something that i forgot to write , PM me, or ask in the comment section.
Thank you all!