Originally Posted by
nathoonder
Doormat is a poor metaphor when referring to my situation. She's very nice to me, I feel like I can share anything with her, she hugs me, holds my hand, kisses me, you don't do that to a doormat.
MAYBE someone is sick of her shit somewhere (I don't see how) but I'm not. The fact that I can't see her again until Monday almost makes me feel physically ill.
In your own words, "She's even stood me up a few times." And she gives you "infrequent scraps of insincere affection." You went on to admit that "I know that this won't last forever and some day she'll end up hurting me really bad but I feel like I could never will her out of my life. She makes my heart whole yet breaks it at the same time."
You're not happy. You wouldn't have posted what you said above if you were happy. The reason that you aren't happy is that the relationship is unfair: you treat her well and she treats you poorly. Good relationships are built on communication, and women tend to respect assertive guys. So be assertive and ask to be treated the way you would like to be treated. If she says no, then break up and move on. Your money will probably be better spent on getting therapy so you can solve your co-dependency tendencies.
Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.