Long distance

[ollie44]

Hi everyone.

I met a girl online (first time for me) and we've been chatting for a year or so. We are so close and used to always talk about the day we meet and we love each other. Lately we talk less about how much it hurts being far away - I think she does this so we don't hurt each other by always talking about it.

She lives in Russia, but has her heart set on moving to Finland to live after uni. I'm in England and really want to stay close to my family. Also, I feel I wouldn't be able to apply myself as well in another country. It's such a horrible situation as none of us seem willing to compromise. I just hope meeting for the first time will clear up the situation. She just seems a bit reluctant to 100% commit to a meeting time/place.

Just wanted to get that out there. Any responses would be great .. thank you guys

[Woods]

Why waste your life on this? Isn't 12 months enough? I appreciate there is a distance but an LDR will only stand a chance of working if you 1: actually meet each other and 2. have a realistic plan to be near each other in x amount of time. You've been chatting 12 months, she's umming and arring about actually meeting and you have no plans to live in the same country in the future. Join a dating site and start meeting girls nearby.

[bearz]

There doesn't seem to be a future for you two except for maybe being penpals. Since you two haven't even met yet there is no point in even discussing moving closer together. It's ok for her to be hesitant when it comes to meeting up for the first time. How old are you two, I assume you are late teens/early 20s? So unless you two can meet up pretty soon chatting online is all this will ever be.

[VincenzoG91]

Step away from the computer and meet some real women in your area.

[lamobatsman]

There doesn't seem to be a future for you two except for maybe being penpals. Since you two haven't even met yet there is no point in even discussing moving closer together. It's ok for her to be hesitant when it comes to meeting up for the first time. How old are you two, I assume you are late teens/early 20s? So unless you two can meet up pretty soon chatting online is all this will ever be.

why is she hesitant to meet up? if she likes you she wouldnt be.
maybe you fly over there to see her for the first time. see what she says about that?

[Kromat83]

I am surprised yours lasted 12 months, as I stared dating mine for 1 month here and it broke off after 1 month of being long distance.

I was actually fortunate to spend personal time with that person, and you certainly are not.
Discuss what you want for each other in the future, and if neither is willing to move, then it won't work and it was just time that you spent getting to know a friend, but nothing I would consider to be a long-term relationship.