Confused... I really need some help on this!

[leegmoser]

Hi everyone, I really need some help on this!

There's a girl that I like very very much but I can't find a way to tell her that. To me, she's the sweetest, most incredible girl I've ever met. We've been working in the same office for about six months. At first I just liked her as a colleague but I gradually fell in love with her. After a month or so she was pretty much all I could think about.

I'm rather shy around girls, which has bothered me for quite a while (I'm 22). I've never dared to ask a girl for a date, but this girl is so sweet that I went out of my way for her. I tried to make eye contact, smiled at her a lot and talked to her whenever possible. She's a little shy too but I have the impression that she likes me as well, always giving me those breathtaking smiles. So one day I got over my nervousness and after work I asked her if she wanted to grab a bite to eat with me. She said yes and that day I felt like the happiest person on the planet. We had dinner together, talked a lot and shared things that I think neither of us would tell a "just workmates" friend (family, things we like, dreams).

So far, so good. After that I asked her out several times. We went out for two more dinners and had wonderful conversations. But two or three other times she said no, saying she wanted to study (we're both in college) or that she was too tired to do anything. That really got me confused because she did seem to flirt with me sometimes. And that body language stuff like playing with her hair, showing her palms, making eye contact for just a second longer - it was all there, especially when nobody else was around. And again, that smile! I did the same to let her know how much I like her. At other times she's more distant, still friendly but nothing more. That always takes me aback and I'm still so nervous to ask her out to a movie or anything. I can't figure her out and I just wonder what I'm doing wrong?! Don't I try hard enough, or too hard, or am I just over-analytical this?

Two months ago she went back to college and now I see her only one day a week, missing her on the other six. I still haven't given up because whenever I see her I'm so happy and I'm still hoping she could be my girlfriend. But then, I don't want to be pushy. Like me, she's not a very outgoing person and she's from a different culture originally so I figure she may need to know me better before she trusts me.

Any thoughts/advice? I'm thankful for any help folks!

[pcmaster]

Well I think everything is very simple for you. Only things that holding you back is your stupid confidence, fear to fail and putting the girl on pedestal.

Start with expressing your feelings. Tell the girl what makes her so special in your eyes and heart. If you want the person to stay in your life you want to make them feel apreciated for who she are.

Second realise that she likes you and thing that holds her back the most is your shynes(cant even ask out on date?). Even in situations when girls dont likes you, acting and doing everything like they do works magic. Because confident guy is big turn on. Shy girls like brave guys who are taking the risks. Once she understand that you like her, she will go crazy about you.

Third understand that she is just a girl and thinks about herself as just a girl too just like you having insecurities. So thinking about her as someone special will turn you into vegetable unable to touch and talk freely. Its discusting - girls hate that when guys think they are queens and afraid to do anything with them.

Thinking about her all the time when shes not with you will make you useless vegetable when you meet her. So make sure keep busy and not making her only highlight of the week, but folllow your other passions too. Basicaly you have to realise that you are enought good and girls dont need superman or hero but just a guy who is there for them and makes them feel full range of emotions, makes them feel special sometimes. You are a guy girls like guys and thats why it will work.

Here is some youtube videos that might help with first steps.

/watch?v=phxc3wMHMK4
/watch?v=Cn13UfHDm3I