Was I disrepctful to him?

[Pixie01]

My boyfriend moved in and didn't have enough of his student loans left to last the semester. I ended up paying most of his living expanses that semester and covered some for the next semester too. Alot of it went on my Master Card. I didn't think much of it as I also was putting money on my card for my kids and I. We had alot of problems and I kicked him out. I thought that this was the end of my going further in debt because of him so I decided to let by-tones by by-gones and wasn't upset about the money. Than he wanted to try to date and work it out. I said maybe and we started hanging out.... within a few weeks he was out of money and still hadn't applied for jobs (he had lots of reasons though). So he couldn't afford cabs anymore and everytime we saw each other (which was almost everyday) I drove to get him (costing me gas, oil, and wear and tear on my vehicle). He also asked me for cigarettes everytime we saw each other. I started getting uspet and telling him to apply for jobs. He didn't as "he was fine" because he had prepaid rent and some groceries left. I asked how it is not a problem when he is using a single mom for free rides and cigarettes. I started getting very angry on the issue (being in debt from my own expenses and by now over $3000 more because of him). Than he asked me to lend him money for his income tax fee. I did and got made and lashed out rudely at him for two days straight. He broke up with me because I was disrespectful to him and have been for "some time now". After he calmed down he wanted me back and thus the rides and cigarettes. So I got upset again and finally cut him off and said to walk and go without cigarettes and that all I had to do was say no. So I said no. Than he complained that he had the shakes from no cigarettes and that his legs were soar from walking across town to see me. It made me feel bad for him that I wouldn't help him out abit. So I gave him a ride and few cigarettes and became upset again and he said "all you have to do is say no". In the end I had it.... after weeks and weeks of this he had only applied for 4 jobs and made one phone call and I had put hundreds into him since he moved out. I didn't want to talk to him again and blocked him on facebook so he wouldn't try to get me back. He got angry and texted me that he would never pay me back. Two days later I saw him buying drinks at the bar and having his own cigarettes. I was so upset that I left. Today he texts me that he has a job and wanted me to be happy for him. I said "how can I be happy for you to have this great job when I am paying off your debt?". He said that he will pay me back if I don't shut him out and show him respect. I said I can't be happy for him
He was upset that I wouldn't' be happy about his job. was that disrespectful of me?
In the end he said and he said he will pay me back because it's such a problem for me. I guess we will see if that happens or not.... Was I rude to him again?

[FlaCooln]

Seems like he was using you and you continued to allow it. I would get your $ back from him and end any other contact.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're not rude, just stupid. Reallly stupid.

[Pixie01]

He has a job now and said he will pay me back.,,,

[Pixie01]

I have been rude and ranted and raved about this. I became VERY angry.... and lashed out about this to him

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Just stop talking to him. Don't reply to him, no matter how much he begs. Otherwise he'll keep using you, and I, unlike most here think you deserve it if it continues.

[michelle23]

Oh for gods sake. Stop easting ur time on the loser. Seriously what is wrong with some people? Hes not gonna change, hes using you, hell bleed u dry and then leave you for the next naive bitch that comes along. Sorry to be blunt and harsh but thats the way it is! Stop enabling him and tell him to get the **** outa ur life. Find a real man and stop wasting ur time on useless cunts

[Wakeup]

Why do you keep asking questions about this guy? WTF.

I see a pattern here and soon enough you're going to let him hoover you back in unless you distance yourself from... particularily if you dont' distance yourself mentally from him and things about your history together.

Let it go before you end up back on your drug of choice known as "piss-poor-abusive-boyfriend."

Read the Cycle of Abuse - google it and educate yourself before you do something stupid.

[bearz]

Get your money back and move on, it's as simple as that. If you can't get the money, tough shit. Sorry, but that was your own fault for loaning someone money who had no job and not a single penny to begin with - not to mention your own financial situation, kids aren't cheap.

[kat82]

Him: Jump biotch
You: How high, darling?

You are a doormat

[Pixie01]

I did break up with him but he kept crying his way in.... I broke up with him last week and he won't let me go. I try to be a kind person but I decided to be mean to him. It's the only way he would leave me alone. I blocked him on facebook and everytime he contacts me I say cruel things. He keeps coming back with the "I still love you even though you are hurting me and being disrespectful" and I tell him to leave me alone and say more cruel things. It is working to a point. He is backing off more now. I have decided that being cruel to him is the only way to go, or he will never let me go.

[bearz]

Don't even respond to him anymore, just ignore him. Don't make this harder than it needs to be.

[Wakeup]

or he will never let me go.

The problem is that you keep giving him some kind of attention. What's funny is, you say you have to be rude or, say cruel things to him in order for him to let you go but when you are rude/cruel, you come her and ask us if you were disrespectful. lol.

Stop talking to him and giving him any type of attentions. That is the way he'll "let you go." Think is you have to actually want him to let you go and that means you not enabling him to stay.

[VincenzoG91]

How does he deserve any respect? He's an addict who can barely endure walking. He cries and complains and can't afford a car. You already have kids, you don't need the additional burden of a childish adult. Either he gets his crap together, or you should dump him for real.

[Pixie01]

Yeah, I agree with you I shouldn't worry about if I am disrespectful with him. I just want to walk away proud of how I acted at the end of the day, despite it all. But you are right, I have taken the blame for how I treat him rather than seeing it as me standing up for myself as I should. The reason why I end up giving him attention is that we are in the same class in college and everyday we are in a small room together. If it weren't for that I wouldn't see his tears and moping around and sad face all day.... It's not something I can just walk away from unless I also walk away from college.