a cheater WILL blame everyone else, this is an easy manipulation and tactic to make yourself "not as evil". If I blame the other guy to my ex, it will make him think I was just brainwashed into having the affair. If I put the blame on the my ex to the single it will just make him think I was just a damsel in distress needing to be saved from the mean, wicked boyfriend. On an anonymous forum like this, there is no need to make myself "look good" and I can just be truthful about my infidelities. I've helped many others on this forum see through the manipulations from their cheaters.
From my experience, the mistresses do not wish to fall in love with a person in a relationship, it just happens for them and often times they fall very hard regretting having such strong feelings because the cheater doesn't always leave their spouses, just leaving them broken hearted.
The cheater will feed both parties BS. Giving the mistress hope that one day their "true love" can end happily ever after, but till we get there you still need to tough it out such as wait by the phone on your Friday nights in hope that I will call. I might not, which will only leave you at home alone watching Seinfeld re-runs while your friends are at the bar meeting other singles...or I will call... And we will literally have 2 hours before I gotta come up with another excuse for the spouse at home so you better give me the best mind blowing head till the next time we meet again.
The cheater will always have an answer for everything and an excuse for anything. They know from the start that they won't leave their spouse for a mistress, thus why they tend to prey for the weak and vulnerable that tend to have traits such as naivety, insecurities etc.