Broken Advice

[sasprilla3]

Hi , I was wondering if anyone could give me some insight into what may have happened in my situation so I can get over him a lot easier?
In summary, Im a student in university , and My crush and I both knew we liked each other and had talked about it, and he;d asked me out a couple of times, but my mother unfortunately did not approve for a few reasons and wanted me to focus on my uni study ..this was around 4 months ago and again 2 months ago, and we were always together and it was like a couple without the name and label or anything like that, but recently 2 weeks ago he started distancing himself - i just thought it was normal, and he just wanted to hang out with his mates more, but then in the week of our course exams hes not in the same study course as i am , as im doing a science course, and hes doing a hospitality course, but roughly the same schedules, but during the exam week he avoided me and hung out with another girl in his course class , and so following advice from friends started to ignore him, and he just told me one say when he noticed i was feeling crap, that i was cranky because he was with another girl, but i was mad because i wasn't told it just happened and now hes with her..
can anyone tell me anything about why this may have happened?

[Ann S]

What are the reasons for you mom's disapproval? Are they valid?
It probably happened because this guy doesn't that the gumption to tell you the truth that he's just not into you anymore.
Maybe your mom was accurate about not approving of this guy. I hope you move on and find someone who is more up front with you. And we women take this kind of stuff so personally, like there is something wrong with us when guys do this kinds of behavior. It's not about us! It's about this guy and you just weren't a good match as evidenced by his lack of communication and honesty. Ann

[smackie9]

Dear this is uni. There are so many girls ripe for the picking why would any guy want to be stuck in a relationship. You both had a different idea of what you were, and I would blame that on you for not communicating your expectations to him. Just because a guy is with you (especially in uni) doesn't mean you are an official couple nor should you ever just "assume" that you are. He looked at this as casual thing because there was no label, so it is what it is.

[sasprilla3]

if it helps, my mum disapproved because he asked out my friend 3 weeks before he asked out me, and my mum gave us an option of just hanging out together before she would approve , and I kept asking him how he was feeling to be sure...and all my friends at uni thought he liked me not her, because when our classes finished we'd all hang out at the nearest McDonalds, and we'd always sit together and he'd text me and walk with me everywhere and my friend said no, and my closest friend said that was probably because he was always with me, 3 weeks later apprently my friend had changed he didnt like her, and he asked out me, but i declined, 2 months later he asked again, after asking my mum i declined yet again and my friend said he'd stated to her he would wait a year for me after my mother said maybe in 6 months..

[smackie9]

Guess what....guys will do and say anything to get into a girls pants. If he didn't get that far with you, that's probably why he moved on.

[sasprilla3]

true...but what would it mean if hes a virgin, so are you, and so is your entire friendship group? I mean im sure it wouldnt change much..

[michelle23]

I disagree with Smackie. I think he was interested in you. He wanted you to be his girlfriend but you turned him down twice so he moved on. What else did you expect to happen? How old are you? Why do you need your mums approval to go on a date? Your in Uni for gawds sake! If you liked him you should have just said yes and went with the flow.

[sasprilla3]

im 18, my mums really protective and i told him i wanted to say yes but couldnt because mum wants me to focus on uni , and my last relationship i broke it off and was devastated because of this guy and i didnt want to be with a guy while having feelings for another, so my mum was really protective and said we could go alone somewhere but none of the pressure of girlfriend and boyfriend, which was the best i could get out of her at the time, and this guy who i had the crush on was always busy and so was I we only had the uni schedules and some days of the week to catch up, and my mum didnt think it could work either because i was so busy as well - so i dnt know if that helps

[michelle23]

You are an adult now. Mummy needs to stop wrapping you in cotton wool. I was very independent at 18 and made my own decisions. I met my bf at 19 and never needed my mums advice where he was concerned.

Every guy you meet will tire of your overprotected mum. She needs to cut the apron strings and let you make your own mistakes. That is the only way you will gain independence and learn to stand on your own two feet.

Dont get me wrong-its great that you are close and that you respect her opinion but you dont have to always take her advice. Do what you feel is best for you.

[smackie9]

Mummy doesn't need to know if you are dating or not that's the trick.