Break up because future plan conflict, can we get back together?

[gaminuniverse]

I had been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years. We hardly had argument. We felt like we were a good match. He is a leader type and I'm a follower. During 2.5 yr, we fought 3 times. Every argument happened when I mentioned about marriage. We had talked when we first met, he doesn't want to get married so soon since he was just divorced and I doesn't care much about paperwork and ring because I love to focus on work and study.

Last fight happened 1.5 months ago. I was so stressed because he wanted me to move in to help him work and take care of his daughter (I would get paid). I love to do that for him, his parents and his daughter also love me. However, I'm an Asian. I felt like before moving in, we should have some small ceremony for my parents. The purpose is to show my parents that we were getting serious on our relationship and we meant it. No real marriage needed... He got mad, this time I said things back like... I should thinking about my school and work more, and shouldn't spend my time and feeling on him.

After the fighting, we made up and tried to do things as normal for about a month. Last two weeks, he came to me and tell me he still love me but he felt different. I cried a lot and he just let me cried. Before he finished his conversation, I left and didn't contact him for a week. I did that because I felt so painful. And I wanted sometime to be stronger. I didn't want to beg him not to leave me. After the week, I felt more painful and contacted him saying that I know what I did wrong. We can be friend if he like to. He seemed happy. He took me out for dinner and behaved like we were having a great time. He said he wanted a beautiful closure. I didn't wanted that. So I told him don't play with my feeling and didn't let him hold my hand. He was upset and told me I am the one who give up, he never gave up. He said my reaction showed that I had negative feeling about him and I always jump to conclusion myself. He also see our conflict. He is ready to settle down and have a real family, while I still have many dreams to pursue. He said even he still love me and care me, we will be just good friends. Then he left to other country for work for a month.

First week when he was away, I feel better and see thing clearer. I emailed him telling him that I still love him. I pulled myself away because I felt uncompleted and too emotional. I loved him too much and lost myself. If I kept being around him, we would end up with worse situations. Now, I feel more peaceful and bring back myself. I would like to start things over with him, but slower. I want us to be two complete people who spend happy time together. In addition, I believe that our conflict future plan can be compromised. He didn't reply my email but we still talk about work.

My question is... if I really don't want to give up, is any possibility that we will get back together? And how? I can live without him. I just don't want to lose a great guy I love without my best attempt.

[sleeplessnights]

Hey, how have you been doing? It's been 7 months since you posted the thread. I wonder how you and your boyfriend/exboyfriend/husband doing?

[john803]

Aww, I hate that you had to go through that. This was a while ago so I'm sure everything worked itself out for the best. Sometimes you have to take a step backwards in order to move forwards. Taking a look at a situation without yourself in it makes things clearer. I dated a single parent a couple of years ago and didn't think twice about it, just jumped right in. After a couple of years I realized that she wasn't into me anymore, she was into me being Daddy. We didn't work out none the less and needless to say I am heartbroken still because I no longer have contact with her daughter. I advise anyone with kids who is concerned with dating or anyone concerned with dating someone with a kid to think it through and don't jepeordize your kids in the same way. Anyways, I hope you are doing well.