please, just help me on what I can do to make things better instead of nailing me to a cross... I do that to myself everyday, so don't worry...
You may nail yourself to a cross for what you did but she hands you the nails.
Your codependency on one another over-rides your actual need to be in one another's life in harmony. She really doesn't want to forgive you but rather just keep you engaged in some way so she can continue to punish you for what you did to her.
You have a choice. You tell her that she stops trying to make you prove yourself and forgives you or, she doesn't forgive you and you part and go on your separate ways. She should NOT be allowed to keep you around and berate you as well. and You should not allow her to do so. Only lap-dogs stick around for that kind of treatment without much bother.
You already know what you did was stupid (and its what codependent and afraid to be alone people do instead of moving on to something and someone who is more suitable to them) Your call how you live out the rest of your life. You're the boss of you and it's about time you started to take on the responsibility and quit leaving it up to her.
Last edited by Wakeup; 02-04-13 at 06:37 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion