Agony of Being in Love with a Doctor - Unsure Where Things Are Headed

[Wakeup]

Further to above: Here is the link to the other poster who is/was also in a relationship with an Indian man. I got rather abrupt with her when you refused to take into consideration anything other then her own hope.

http://www.loveforum.net/threads/74830-Trying-hard-to-understand-Indian-culture-in-my-relationship

BTW: In case the link doesn't work it's in the Love Advice Sub-forum. (I've had trouble with cut and pasting links before, unfortunately).

[velveteen]

deleted for reasons of privacy

[Wakeup]

Thank you for the informed advice, although of course it was not easy to read I appreciate your honesty. However I refuse to believe that NONE of these love stories every works out. I am not giving up.

Just be careful about our own self. You jumped in with both feet and you don't even know who he is. 9 weeks is nothing in the scheme of things.

And, he has introduced me to all of his friends here. His family does not live here so of course he cannot introduce me.

You said yourself that his backing off and the re-appearance of his room-mate coincide.. Just something to think about based on that alone.

I never fall quickly - but for him I did. That must mean something.

Yes, that you have some chemistry.. that doesn't equal "love" only infatuation and lust on an equal scale to one another.

Also I don't think it is at all fair or realistic for Indian parents to send their kids overseas to Western countries like UK or America to pursue their professions and lives and then turn around and disown them for falling in love with a native woman.

Yea, well that is irrelevant, really. I'm sure Indian parents shake their heads at the way we do things around here, too.

Whats realy unfair is all these Indian people flinging outside their own culture only to dump them a week or two before the arranged marriage (happened to a good friend of mine, actually.. she didn't even bother to tell him she was engaged)

[velveteen]

deleted for reasons of privacy

[Wakeup]

In terms of the room-mate purely - I have had dinner with him (and my bf) twice and hung out, watched movies, all the while snuggling into my bf... stayed the night and had morning coffee with the room-mate after my bf had gone to work... I understand you are only trying to put 2 and 2 together but I am not sure that is quite it. However, my bf and the room-mate ARE very close friends and yes I agree there could be something there in terms of "Hey, what's going on, are you getting serious about this white chick?" altough I have to say my impression is that the room-mate (although Indian also) is far less Indian than my bf, actually... if you know what I mean. Then again I really don't know the guy.

Well, If you're going to be the pursuer now, just keep in mind what's been said about Indian Culture and arranged marriages etc. You might want to have a meaningful discussion about his thoughts on arranged marriages etc. Hopefully he won't lie to you.

Remember, it's only been 9 weeks and you hardly even know the real man beneath that honeymoon period demeanour. I think you were smart to keep the aloofness while enjoying the sex and companionship. Too late to keep your emotions out of it now though.

Good luck, I hope you'll be a success story when it comes to this all too familiar tale. Keep it real and pay attention to his actions.

Keep in mind that the girl in the other thread has had the gift of honesty from her (ex?). He's outright told her that he won't go against his parents and she's still trying to flog a dead horse. Don't be like her.

[misombra]

Sounds like he has changed his mind like the changing tides of the ocean.

You'd probably be better off leaving him alone.

Sorry, I doubt that's what you wanted to hear.

[HeartIsAching]

Well, If you're going to be the pursuer now, just keep in mind what's been said about Indian Culture and arranged marriages etc. You might want to have a meaningful discussion about his thoughts on arranged marriages etc. Hopefully he won't lie to you.

Remember, it's only been 9 weeks and you hardly even know the real man beneath that honeymoon period demeanour. I think you were smart to keep the aloofness while enjoying the sex and companionship. Too late to keep your emotions out of it now though.

Good luck, I hope you'll be a success story when it comes to this all too familiar tale. Keep it real and pay attention to his actions.

Keep in mind that the girl in the other thread has had the gift of honesty from her (ex?). He's outright told her that he won't go against his parents and she's still trying to flog a dead horse. Don't be like her.

I think Wakeup's nailed it... and the OP doesn't want to hear the answer. Typical.