Is ignoring the best idea?

[LiefLAO]

So there's this girl I deeply like in school. I often cannot stop looking at her, and she's a pretty quiet and shy person overall. She's one of those girls that are just so beautiful that it's very tempting to go up to talk to her. During the first semester she transferred into my art class and guys would often walk up to her and talk. Most of the boys couldn't find a good way to communicate with her because she's always so shy to maintain a great conversation. But then...throughout the first week of her transfer, I started to see signs that she has noticed me. She would always try to sit beside me, and would find ways to talk to me (dropping the eraser on purpose and etc...). But after those moments of confidence, she left the course. It was a great disappointment to me since it was the first girl that I ever felt this way towards.

During the second semester, my classes hardly changed. My Chemistry Class swapped to Social Studies. The girl appeared in my social class!

I thought this is probably another opportunity to talk to her, but I was so nervous and afraid of rejection. I hesitated for a month and a half. I read internet sources and tried to find ways to increase my chances of successfully getting close to her. After 2 days of research, I decided to test it on the classmates, and my conversation skills were really improving. More people wanted to talk to me, and the girl's interest is becoming more evident.
Despite those days of triumph, I still wasn't able to sum up enough courage because there were lack of times where I can 1 on 1 with her.

Her first language was korean, so I thought that maybe I should spend some time learning the language in order to communicate better with her. But I found out that learning the language to the point of mastery is far too long to wait. And so...a week later I decided to talk to her whenever there was an opportunity. One opportunity I eventually came across is a "study day", where all the classmates in my social class study in the computer lab on their own.

She was sitting there alone during something other than social studies. She was doing math in the room. I thought it was a very bad time to 1 on 1 with her, but I felt that this opportunity was rare, and so...I came up to her and sat down beside her.

We talked about math, and then it transitioned to talking about ourselves. It was a pleasurable conversation. After the conversation, I battled my hesitation and asked her for her number. She gave it to me immediately and happily!

I had a math exam the day I after we talked, and it was a very difficult math exam. So when I was studying, I texted her if she wanted to study with me. She happily took the offer!

And so...the next day we met up in lunchtime in the library and studied! My math skills were definitely unflattering to her, and I thought this might turn her off. Funny thing is though, everything she taught me was vivid in the exam.

I thanked her through text, but then after that moment. The texts started to die down.

Initially I thought she was busy or something. So I waited for a long time. Still no text.

This was when I felt the strongest of insecurities. It felt like the worst case scenario for me.

I asked advice from my sister, who has been dating a lot of guys for awhile and she told me that, "It's too late. You are in the friendzone. The only way to get out of it, is to ignore her. That way if she catches on to this and finds out that you are not texting her anymore, she will be concerned. That concern is an indication that she has feelings for you."

The idea sounds convincing, but is it the best idea?

[Ann S]

We are all afraid of this. "I was so nervous and afraid of rejection." But what's the worst thing that can happen if we are nervous, afraid and/or rejected? You're not going to die. You'll just feel embarrassed and that is it!

We are really forgetting ONE important thing here. This girl is Korean. Koreans have a totally different culture than we do. There are different rules of social engagement than the ones we have. This girl might be afraid of getting close to you because of her parents or family. I know many wonderful Koreans. The ones I know put great pressure on their kids to excel in school. I suggest you dig a little deeper and learn more about her. Ask her about her culture and about what dating is like in her culture.

I don't think you are in the friendzone.....but if you are, so what? Friendship often turns into something really romatic and wonderful! Go for it! Ann

[basilandthyme]

What's with you waiting for texts? Ask her on a date.

[LiefLAO]

Ok I sent her a text message. She still didn't reply back.

I'm going to try to somehow one on one with her again. I'm going to try my best to see if I can win this girl's heart, and if not...I'll remain my position as her friend.

She may be one of the prettiest, but maybe she might not be the one for me. There's lots of things we don't know about each other, but I feel like those differences could be the scare for her.

I'm ready to go all in for this girl.

[HeartIsAching]

There is nothing to be afraid of. Ever. The worst that can happen is that she says "No". So what?

You gotta play to win.

[Boisdevie]

Ok I sent her a text message. She still didn't reply back.

Lack of reply = subtle message. Unless she's been kidnapped and her phone taken away from her she got your message and decided NOT to reply. Get the message? Or does she have to tell you to get lost to your face?

[LiefLAO]

Agreed.

One reason why I still did it because I noticed she's a shy type. She doesn't look like a girl that would text me first or anything.

It may be a bad sign already, but I'll still try.

Her popularity is intimidating so I wasn't expecting to get her, but hope for the best