Fear of getting dumped

[Katrina26]

I have started a relationship with this guy who seems to be a good one. I know Flacoln and michelle kept telling me not to analyze the relationship so much and just go with the flow (which I have being doing). Now we have two weeks and it seems that we both are getting too attached to each other. We were having a combo about my job being in hold and he said that at least he would have more time to see me and I replied that that was the only positive outcome of having my job on hold. Then he said that I was going to get tired of him and not want to see him (what happened in his past relationships) and I said I won't get tired of him. Since we joke around so much ( I told him one of these days you are going to wake up and tell me you are tired of me bothering you) and he replied that he won't because he misses me a lot. Oh welll I know it can be infatuation but is it normal to have a a mutual fear of getting dumped when a relationship is going so well?

[pcmaster]

Fear dont really exist - its just a product of thoughts.

You need something in realionship that keeps you on you feet, so you dont become comfortable and lazy. Like other girls hitting on your guy. Something that makes you wana be the best that you can be and be nice to your partner.

Its great that you have a little fear that keeps you awake(but its better to have a passion). Just make sure you dont start to concentrate on the wrong stuff instead. Like girls ussually pay too much attention to their looks like it could compensate other problems in relationship. Or guys tend to work too much thinking that money will solve the emotional problems.

[Katrina26]

Fear dont really exist - its just a product of thoughts.

You need something in realionship that keeps you on you feet, so you dont become comfortable and lazy. Like other girls hitting on your guy. Something that makes you wana be the best that you can be and be nice to your partner.

Its great that you have a little fear that keeps you awake(but its better to have a passion). Just make sure you dont start to concentrate on the wrong stuff instead. Like girls ussually pay too much attention to their looks like it could compensate other problems in relationship. Or guys tend to work too much thinking that money will solve the emotional problems.

Thanks the passion is there. He works a lot but what I like the most about him is that he makes time for me, his family and friends. Lets say he doesn't care much about looks (I know all guys do) and I do dress nice for him when I'm going to see him but at the same time he has seen me in the non fashion way. Just getting out of the bed and we will be face timing and he will be staring at me and will always say I look prettier like that oh well lol

[Rowen]

If you fear that you'll get dumped, then you will get dumped. And you want to know why? You'll be so worried about failure that you'll subconsciously set yourself up for failure. I had this happen to me before.

I went on a date with a guy that I really liked, and he really liked me too. We went on a few dates, and it was going swell till I subconsciously allowed my fear of rejection and losing him to push him away. In the end, it led to massive arguments followed by six months of not speaking to one another.

So, I ask you. Do you really want that? Or would you rather place it cool, relax, and see where it goes?

[Katrina26]

If you fear that you'll get dumped, then you will get dumped. And you want to know why? You'll be so worried about failure that you'll subconsciously set yourself up for failure. I had this happen to me before.

I went on a date with a guy that I really liked, and he really liked me too. We went on a few dates, and it was going swell till I subconsciously allowed my fear of rejection and losing him to push him away. In the end, it led to massive arguments followed by six months of not speaking to one another.

So, I ask you. Do you really want that? Or would you rather place it cool, relax, and see where it goes?

Sure I don't want that. The thing is I feel that it's a mutual fear and that's why I'm asking

[pcmaster]

it was going swell

So thats how it is to date guys? Swelling all the time?

[Katrina26]

Swelling? I dunno about that

[Rowen]

Sure I don't want that. The thing is I feel that it's a mutual fear and that's why I'm asking

Well, if it's a mutual fear, it's not very healthy... If you two can overcome it and know that the other isn't going to (based on how they voice their opinion on this situation when you talk about it), then it can work. But if you don't talk and all you two do is fear, then you're setting yourselves up for disaster because someday the other is going to get tired or both of you will get tired.

So thats how it is to date guys? Swelling all the time?

lol All I meant was that we were hitting it off. We were exploring each-other's personalities- not underclothes. hahaha

[michelle23]

Everyone has a little anxiety and fear in the infatuation stage. it is normal to a certain extent but if you are both insecure people-you both have to work on boosting your self-esteem and believing you are good enough for each other. Otherwise it is a recipe for disaster.

Relax and stop looking for reassurance from each other. Enjoy what you have right now and you can re-evaluate in six months and discuss the future

[Katrina26]

Everyone has a little anxiety and fear in the infatuation stage. it is normal to a certain extent but if you are both insecure people-you both have to work on boosting your self-esteem and believing you are good enough for each other. Otherwise it is a recipe for disaster.

Relax and stop looking for reassurance from each other. Enjoy what you have right now and you can re-evaluate in six months and discuss the future

Thanks Michelle will do. I dunno how to consider it cause is like you said a type of anxiety. He gets attached easily and I'm the same. An you know that it is difficult to find to people who get attached to eachother so easily I guess that since we found someone who is able to cope with eachother, we won't want to have any problems later on