Hi everyone. I could have several more moths to think, but the answer would never come because this is my real problem.. I am 38, and I am in a relationship for the last 7 years. We have been well, but we have also been apart some times, because of a major issue of mine. We have different goals. She is a wonderful person, but sees things differently. She wants to have kids, (as I do), have fun with the family and cousins all the time, get a coffee after work, stay out have fun and has no will to get better.
I love her so much, I've cried so much every time I left her in the past for the same reason, and then came back, but I have a different philosophy about life. I want to get better every day, and I want my woman to do the same thing. I want to learn, I get back from work and check something on the internet, read books, visit museums, concerts, I like to talk to people who can teach you something new, visit new places, be a better person. And I go for that every time I am not very tired from work.
The result is, two different realities. One is love. Which is immense. The other is two different realities : Getting better together vs love me for who I am, I don't want to change anything.
Since January she left because she could not stand my uncertainty anymore. She wants to marry me and has had tones of patience, but since January she started getting tired of this. Her ego, and thoughts about the future. She wanted to get married to me and have kids together. But I kept postponing the answer. And now, since I kept giving hope to her, I finally put myself in the angle. i told her tonight i will give her the answer. Marriage, or goodbye. I tried to be mature for once in all this. But I still have difficulties.
There is a half full glass of water.. I ran away 5 times, and returned 5. What shall I do ? No more time, I am sick of my uncertainty. It's a "for a life" answer. Now. Any advice ?