My Gf lost her sex "interest"

[niceguy911]

First of all I wanna apologize for my english cause its not perfect.

So lets go to the point; Im 22 and shes also 22

Basically Ive known this girl since high school, we have been school mates for 4 years!, we never had any connections then .. infact we kinda hated eachother (funny how everyone was telling us we will be together someday because we would argue all the time in the class, i just didnt imagine it )
so yeah, after high school was finished, I havent seen her in about 2 years.. she had a boyfriend for some time, and then I got drunk at this party and we hooked up. I couldnt believe the next day rly... but long story short, ever since then (that was little over a year ago) we have been hooking up at my place, and recently we decided to be more "serious" .. so.. I took her virginity in summer 2012 and after that we had sex almost everytime we met at my place.. (the sex wasnt enjoyable for her, because she has a RLY tight pussy and she always complains that it hurts!) Ive also made her orgasm by fingering her.. and I went down on her a couple of times eventhou she is grossed out by it, and she gave my plenty of HJs.. but she was always kinda grossed out about sex, dunno why.. I tought maybe when we "practice" it abit more.. she will begin to like it. But thats not the case.. infact, we havent had sex in over 2 months now! ... I was and still am very dissapointed, why all of a suden!?!? what the heck? It makes me feel really unnatractive, but she says its not that, she just doesnt feel in a mood, and a month ago, I kinda.. did my own thing I tryed to strip her naked, and I did.. but for some reason she was giggling all the time, like shes embarassed or something, and when I touched her pussy with my fingers she was completely dry! I couldnt believe it, thats when I stopped and asked her what the ****? whats the problem, and she was rly pissed and we argued over that a couple of days, but we straighten things out and now were back to "normal" (besides having sex) now she is again coming over to my place, but no sex... just some lame handjobs, It rly pisses me out, because we ALREADY had sex .. at least 20times before, I am extremely into sex, I jerk off all the time, and we are both very young still, what should I do ? btw. I can see she loves me and I love her too, but I dont think i can have a relationship without sex, should I be more patient? Should I break up with her ? (I know it sounds stupid to break up over sex, but I cant explain, it wasnt always like that, it just suddenly changed)

thanks for your answers!

[HeartIsAching]

Sounds to me as if she needs a guy with a smaller penis.

Honestly, you're not sexually compatible, and staying with her is just going to lead to more resentment. It's not going to change, and unless you can live in a sexless relationship, I'd consider moving on.

[niceguy911]

Whats most funny is that we had sex before we got "serious" we just agreed with eachother, no relationship just hooking up... and I had a blast with her then! but after this christmas, I expressed my feelings about her and she told me she feels the same.. and since then we had sex just one time! haha

[PradaChanel]

I know you said your english wasn't great but you sure know how to use the word pussy quite often. Lol

It probably does hurt. I know when I first lost my virginity, sex always hurted for me. I liked to do it regardless but it hurted more then it felt good.

[niceguy911]

I can understand that just fine... but I cant understand why now when we both expressed our feelings to eachother, its like she used me

btw; I never rly had a serious relationship before (I had sex before, not plenty of times but still) and she knows that... I have a feeling she just wants me to be with her, cuddle couple of times a week, and comunicate over FB/phone, .. Im fine with that, I like doing that, but I always imagined id have plenty of sex with my GF.. even multiple times per day , every friend of mine has that kind of relationship anyway.

[basilandthyme]

Have you considered that she's just not that into you? Sex with someone who you're no longer into can actually be quite gross. And if this: >>I stopped and asked her what the ****? whats the problem<< is the type of behaviour you exhibit, I can see why she would not be into you.

It's quite possible she will have a different sexual response with another person.

[niceguy911]

you are making me look like a douche and I get it, but you simply cant understand, that was building inside me for quite a while, it just sux to feel unatractive. (i mean at that point while I was touching her below she was giggling.. it almost looked like she was making fun of me )
and yes, I also considered that she might not be into me anymore, and I asked her if Im still attractive to her, and she says yes and she still loves me alot, but she is just grossed out about sex .. What I am thinking right now the most is.. even if she has sex with me from now on... I KNOW SHE WILL NOT LIKE IT, and she will only do it to please me! and I dont like that at all.

[basilandthyme]

you are making me look like a douche and I get it, but you simply cant understand, that was building inside me for quite a while, it just sux to feel unatractive. (i mean at that point while I was touching her below she was giggling.. it almost looked like she was making fun of me )
and yes, I also considered that she might not be into me anymore, and I asked her if Im still attractive to her, and she says yes and she still loves me alot, but she is just grossed out about sex .. What I am thinking right now the most is.. even if she has sex with me from now on... I KNOW SHE WILL NOT LIKE IT, and she will only do it to please me! and I dont like that at all.

I'm not making you look like a douche - you're the one who said "What the ****? What's the problem?" Such sweet talk will get you nowhere.

So end it. Both of you deserve to have someone where mutual sexual interest exists.

[searock]

I agree with basilandthyme, she isn't into you and that's why she is dry and too tight: she isn't aroused by you. The fact that you have already had sex with her doesn't imply that it will happen again, especially since she did NOT enjoy it.

She may also be suffering from some sort of psychological block that makes her consider sex as something "sinful" and dirty - sex isn't supposed to gross her out. Being too tight is a symptom of vaginismus (look it up), a condition for which a woman's vagina doesn't naturally become less tight during sex, and instead tightens up even more, resulting in difficult penetration and feelings of pain on her part. Maybe she should talk to a sex therapist.

I think you should have a serious talk with her. Ask her if she wants to continue your relationship or not and if she does, then tell her she's going to have to be more sexual, because you don't want to stay in a sexless relationship. If she insists that "sex grosses her out", suggest she may talk to a sex therapist to find the cause of such a strange view on something that is supposed to be fun and enjoyable.

[pcmaster]

Laught is what breaks sexual tension. She must be laughting at your wood. Its like compliment to a girl. Yet she wasnt wet cause of laughting. The girls are more about emotions. So if you dont have a perfect communication then sex wont be as good too.

[michelle23]

I dont think this is your fault OP and you should not let it make you feel unattractive. A small percentage of women are just not into sex-theyl pretend they are to catch you and once they have you-they go off it.

However she does say it hurts her and if sex is uncomfortable for a long period of time or unenjoyable-it can make you go off it. You have not been together that long so I think that means she either just doesn't like sex or you and she are not compatible sexually.

You can try speaking to her and ask her is there anything you can do to make her enjoy it more? Do you have enough foreplay before sex? Does she orgasm every time? If she refuses to try and fix this issue-then you do need to break up with her. You cannot have a sexless relationship and who wants hand jobs? You can do that yourself..

Dont feel bad for breaking up over sex. If it is making you feel unattractive, crushing your self-esteem and the rejection is depressing you-then you need to put you first and tell her its over.

Tip: Sex can hurt a women if she is not wet enough and it may take up to 20mins of foreplay to make her wet enough-at least until she gets used to sex-then foreplay may only take 5-10mins. You should try to make it all about her for awhile and see if that helps.

Does she feel comfortable with you looking at her body or is she blankets up, lights off? You need to try and change her mentality towards sex. Maybe buy her a book on female sexuality and tell her its perfectly healthy and normal for a woman to enjoy sex. If she is "grossed out" by it-then you can try to help her see its not gross but dont try for too long. Some women will never change their view on sex or sexuality. So give it a few more months and try to communicate effectively (which means no arguing, fighting etc) just stay calm.

You could also suggest a few sex therapy sessions together and see what she says. Her excuse "im not in the mood" is not good enough because it should only take a few minutes to get in the mood with foreplay etc... You need to tell her straight that this is hurting you and you want to fix it or you cant be together anymore. Be honest

[niceguy911]

Thanks for such great replies guys (and girls ) .. I did talk to her trust me, in the beggining we had lots of foreplay, I am all about foreplay trust me, Ill to anything to a woman, and she did reach her orgasm (by fingering, kissing, grinding against each other) and she was rly into that before.. but now even that is gone, and she realizes she has a serious problem, she even told me so .. like " i dunno wtf is wrong with me, i hope this is just a period " but she doesnt even want to have any foreplay or nothing, she wont get wet, nothing! She completely lost that "hornyness" if you can call it that, but she wasnt very into sex even before that


I just feel realy bad do break up with her because of that, maybe its because shes first girl I actually have feelings for ?

[niceguy911]

I almost forgot, she mentioned yesterday she will get off birth control pills soon... could that be the problem at the moment?

[pcmaster]

Yes it could. Give her some libido boosters like Muira Puama. Its food suplement and be purchased in health shops. You dont have a problem with that so you dont need them. But for example guys who using steroids needs libido boosters to restore natural hormones. They like stimulae the hormones that your body make and changes the mood, looks, feelings of yours. Great short term solution(for like few days).

So what I think pills killed her sex drive and now will take few weeks to let it restore that naturaly once she off the pill.

[basilandthyme]

Having experienced losing my sex drive when I was with my ex husband - and having it return ten-fold with a new man, I'm still more inclined to believe that the problem is that she's not into you.