advice on what to do when relationship ends abruptly

[soulxfaith]

Hello! My ex boyfriend decided to want to put our relationship on hold 3weeks ago saying that he wanted to concentrate on his studies and work first and feels tht he isnt ready for a relationship out of the blue. When I asked him hw long he would want the break and he said that he wasnt sure and simply said perhaps a year or so :/ after he asked if we could be still friends for now.. I was taken aback when I heard and he couldnt even discuss it with me in person.. I tried questioning him but then I gave in and said okay.. but after 2weeks, I couldnt take just being his friend.. and some hw cos of that we fought quite a bit until it ended with him saying that he was frustrated with me being dependent on him and askin him bout what is he doing and told me angrily that he used to love me but all that love is lost now.. he said i wasnt a bad gf and i was patient but he just wanted to end it here and said he just views me as a friend..

I Didnt know what to do.. I didnt know what to say.. cos I had been a good gf to him and was always thr for him.. hmm sighh.. after he told me to decide on whether to keep in contact or not.. hmm I just told him that ill keep communication open but ill let him text me when he feels he want me present.. so recently after a week of me not contactin him,he texted me hi and asked what was I doing.. I gave him straight forward, friendly but not too friendly answers.. afterwhich he just says oh okay.. its been 2 days since he texted and I feel the urge to text him.. sighh what should I do? Am I worth more than this?

[lamobatsman]

you are worth more than this!!

[Tammy]

Hi,

If I understand correctly, you two haven't been going out that long? (Out of the blue..)
How come you didn't start out as friends then if he says he needs the space to focus on work related things?
(Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants?)
Well, if you already had a relationship going, it's difficult taking a step back and just being friends.
Obviously, you don't want that. And he doesn't want you to suffocate him. So, indeed, I'd keep the ball in his court.
If he's ready for something more, he'd probably let you know.
But then again, if it takes too long, let's say a week or so, it shouldn't hurt to text or sth in that regard.
I'm sure that with your closest friends you keep in touch very frequent, however, this is different: it's a sensitive
issue 'cause you don't want to force or destroy the thing that still binds you. So, I would lay low. Let it breathe for a while.
But don't let him forget you!!

Good luck ; )

[soulxfaith]

Hi,

If I understand correctly, you two haven't been going out that long? (Out of the blue..)
How come you didn't start out as friends then if he says he needs the space to focus on work related things?
(Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants?)
Well, if you already had a relationship going, it's difficult taking a step back and just being friends.
Obviously, you don't want that. And he doesn't want you to suffocate him. So, indeed, I'd keep the ball in his court.
If he's ready for something more, he'd probably let you know.
But then again, if it takes too long, let's say a week or so, it shouldn't hurt to text or sth in that regard.
I'm sure that with your closest friends you keep in touch very frequent, however, this is different: it's a sensitive
issue 'cause you don't want to force or destroy the thing that still binds you. So, I would lay low. Let it breathe for a while.
But don't let him forget you!!

Good luck ; )

Hello Tammy! Thank you for your reply! We have been together for quite some time.. we've been together for 15 months and we were committed. . We had even talked about a future together.. that is why it comes as a surprise that he suddenly has lost feelings for me.. I mean feelings dont disappear overnight right? :/

But yes, you are right that I shouldnt suffocate him now.. I still do want him back and hope he realises that im important to him. Do you think it will make me seem desperate if I ended up contacting him? Im not the type of girl who wants to be clingy but somehow with him, I can never seem to let go like he did.

[soulxfaith]

And thank you Iamobatsman! I do feel like im worth more than this. . It is just hard for me not to initiate contact cos we were so close and he was like my best friend too.

[michelle23]

You need to cut all contact with him its over and keeping him as a "friend" will just hurt more. Its hard but you will get over him and youll be okay.

If he contacts you again-just ignore him or even block him. Its better for you and will help you heal faster.

Get out and about, keep busy, go on a few casual dates, have fun with your friends. Every day will get a little easier until you dont crave him anymore.

Stay strong and stay positive. Plenty more fish in the sea