did I make things akward

[lorax]

you probably get posts like this everyday so I'll try to make this as brief as possible. but to make a long story short, I have known a friend of mine for about a year now. I started developing feelings for her about 6 months ago and told her how I felt. She had a boyfriend and simply asked "can we still be friends" to which I replied yes.

time goes on and we become much much closer. I mean we were already close as friends, but for the past 3 months we have been spending about 6 hours of our day together everyday. we are both in college, so after classes we typically meet everyday in the library at 5 pm, study together until 10, then go to the gym together until 12. we typically cook dinner for each other (alternating days) and always hang out. about a month ago she told me her relationship with her current boyfriend was a ticking time bomb, and on that same night ( I had a test the next day) she gave me a four leaf clover and wished me luck. I can't really explain it, but you'll just have to trust me when I say that night was very special, and I felt like there was definitely something there.

time goes on this past month, and I was told by a friend that she told him that her current boyfriend is a loser, but she can't seem to leave him. our friend asked what about me, and she said maybe. and for the past month we have been getting closer and closer, we go rock climbing together, hiking, out to dinner etc.

well this past weekend her boyfriend came down from where they are from (she lives aways from where we go to college), and they hugged and kissed like any normal couple, though they had a pretty big argument while all 3 of us were hanging out. and her boyfriend was definitely suspicious of me as he kept trying to bring up the subject of how often we hang out, which I essentially ignored. (changed the subject)

lastly last night, I finally told her how I felt once again. unlike last time where she looked down and just asked if we could still be friends, she was smiling at me and looking at me. I am disappointed in the way I acted, in that I couldn't help but shed a tear ( I have just been in love with her for so long, and to finally let it out was just to emotional for me.) but long story short, I told her I was in love with her and shed a tear. she was smiling at me and said "you don't have to cry." I said I wasn't crying, and then she changed the subject and asked where I had went hiking that day, and other subjects.

Ultimately she didn't say no, or tell me to stop. but she didn't say "I love you too" or anything like that. it may not be the best outcome, but I was happy with it, as it was an improvement over last time, and by not saying "no" it means I have a shot. and like I said, she had a genuine smile the whole time. after that I had to leave and that was that

well here comes today. we hadn't seen or spoke to each other all day and I went to our usual 5 pm meeting spot to study. but she had to study elsewhere today for a test tomorrow with a different group (nothing wrong with that at all). but I tapped on the door just to say "hi" like we normally do when we don't study together, and I kind of got an awkward wave, with no smile this time. very much unlike her.

that's the only thing that happened, and maybe I am looking to much into an "awkward wave" but I can't help but sit over here in the other room and being extremely concerned that I screwed things up. after last night, I thought everything was ok, but then why the awkward wave today? I mean sure it could be something unrelated, but what happened to that smile? was she just being nice last night? and more importantly I took her changing the subject with a smile to be a good thing last night, was I maybe wrong about that?

I love this girl with all my heart, but we are studying very hard right now for our goals, and if I've made things weird for her, I just don't know that I can forgive myself. I am just curious what you girls think

thank you for any advice.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Make a real move on her. Kiss her. You may have done irreparable damage by saying you love her before ANYTHING even transpired between you.

Seriously, it doesn't sound like you were ever anything but her girlfriend, and probably won't ever be, especially if you don't get a grip.

[FlaCooln]

Ahh maybe she is stressed out about the test. I think she likes you and the fact that she didn't reiterate the friends thing the 2nd time is a good sign. Maybe she just needs some time to ditch the current looser BF.

I have been in the same situation before (was in college too). Met a girl in my class on the first day and we became study buddies, started hanging out, and having lunch after class on most days. Well a few weeks later we had a big project to do that we were working together on and she invited me over for dinner with her and her sister to finish our project. Well we got it done and a few bottles of wine later we were just watching a movie sitting next to each other.

I looked at her and told her that I liked her and wanted to kiss her (we were both nicely drunk at this point). Well she told me she liked me too, but she had a BF back home and the LDR was not going well (I didn't know she had a BF). Funny enough, he called her right then to tell her goodnight or something and she went upstairs. I heard some arguing and poof she broke with him. Then she came downstairs and gave me a big kiss on the lips. We dated for about 2 years.


So give it time, she knows how you feel. She may come around, but respect the fact that she has a BF.

[lorax]

Ahh maybe she is stressed out about the test. I think she likes you and the fact that she didn't reiterate the friends thing the 2nd time is a good sign. Maybe she just needs some time to ditch the current looser BF.

I have been in the same situation before (was in college too). Met a girl in my class on the first day and we became study buddies, started hanging out, and having lunch after class on most days. Well a few weeks later we had a big project to do that we were working together on and she invited me over for dinner with her and her sister to finish our project. Well we got it done and a few bottles of wine later we were just watching a movie sitting next to each other.

I looked at her and told her that I liked her and wanted to kiss her (we were both nicely drunk at this point). Well she told me she liked me too, but she had a BF back home and the LDR was not going well (I didn't know she had a BF). Funny enough, he called her right then to tell her goodnight or something and she went upstairs. I heard some arguing and poof she broke with him. Then she came downstairs and gave me a big kiss on the lips. We dated for about 2 years.


So give it time, she knows how you feel. She may come around, but respect the fact that she has a BF.

I am definitely not going to push things, though we were planning on hiking on friday. I would like to push things just a little and try to hold her hand. ( we are 26 I know that sounds really lame for my age, but at least its something). and just leave it there for a little while. I am debating that.

of course the depends upon if she even still wants to go. I really hope we still go to the gym and what not like normal tonight. or at least things aren't awkward. I guess only time will tell

[smackie9]

You took the fun out of this whole thing. It's like watching an intense movie that has an anti-climatic ending. She was enjoying the sexual tension, the attention, the emotional intensity, the mystery, the chase and being chased. As soon as you spilled your feelings of love you just pussified yourself, and it weakened her view of you. You should have said nothing and make a bloody move.....who gives a rat's ass if she has a BF, she's not married so she is fair game. She's been acting like your GF already so what difference does it make?? Time to be a man and make a move or ditch her and get busy with other girls.

I agree with backup.....damage may have already been done.