Hi there, I have an ongoing problem with a girl I met about 4-5 years ago and really need some impartial advice as it becoming very hard to live with.
We met through a friend and got on well from the start but didn't really see much of each other but I always had a soft spot for her and think likewise.
Then after a while she met a friend of mine and they started to go out, she like it as he worked away so as she was young she has the best of both worlds. e carried on becoming closer and closer over the years and over the last 2 have become very close. They split up last year for 6 months but recently have gotten back together, I have since learnt that not a day went by while they were split up that he didn't contact her hassling etc, they started seeing each other late last year and more things happened which meant it ended again but since Christmas they have been back together.
No here comes the kicker while they had split up and before while he was away with work for weeks/months we became inseparable and the feelings on my end grew so very quick.
I built up the courage to tell her before Christmas how I felt and never expected the respond I got, she said she had feelings for me as well and we were more than friends but because of the situation it could never happen. He is a very jealous and sort of controlling person, if she doesn't answer the phone straight away he keeps ringing, gets annoyed if she isn't at his beck and call. when they are out she gets moaned at for talking to people etc or not showing him enough attention.
She has told me she loves me on many occasions over text, phone, in christmas/birthday card etc which has happened for a long time, even as recently as 2 weeks ago while we were out together, boyfriend as well she was trying to get me to do something and said when your mine you'll do that, as well as saying she loved me etc, I asked her about that and she said I know what I said and it was meant but knows she shouldn't of said it.
We know everything about each other she is the one I want to tell everything and she the same, although it's changed a bit over the last little while because although we have never hidden our friendship to anyone and nothing has happened, apart from a few kisses (pecks) she even did the other week. The boyfriend is now wary of how much time we spend together and says friends don't spend that much time together, don't text every day, speak on the phone so I'm loosing her a bit buy trying not to, but understand some of it has to happen.
She also tells me when the have fallen out which does happen quite a bit that she knows only she can change things and get out but she is to worried of how much hassle she will get and also what other people will thin because they told her not to go back in the first place but she admits she does want to be with him but is holding out for it to go back to how it was in the start but that won't happen. Any problems and when he is horrible to her she just ignores and gets on with it because it's easier.
I am a bit older than her, I am 33 and she is 23 but have never felt like this about someone before, she is the one and although I would never try to split them up because he is a friend although I wouldn't class as a close one now but my hope is that if they were to end in time we could be together!
I can't ignore the fact she admits she has feelings for me and that part/lot of her agrees that she should be with me.
I have no idea how to go about things, I can't step back because the fear of loosing her is unbearable but can't keep going on like this feeling completely down about it everyday, advice please
Kind Regards