my ex girlfriend says she'll hang out with me but why is she so mean?

[getupkid49]

funny topic but it's annoying me. she dumped me 2.5 months ago bc long sorry short I acted single aroun her, like she wasnt my girlfriend and she got tired of not feeling important. since then we only wen no contact for 2.5 weeks about 2 weeks ago and we've been texting since. before that she acted like she still cared but basically said she doesn't know if she could dare me again with the fear I'd still act the same, we dated over a year by the way.

I'm basically detached from the breakup, I'm not depressed over it and know I don't need her but I do miss her and miss being with and around her, so I brought up getting drinks one might, or go to Atlantic city, nothing serious. since we've been texting she will talk but is very straight forward and VERY bitchy, so I just keep my temper and be patient. she did agree that we could hang out but was very reluctant to agree and it took a couple conversations for her to agree. things she's said was "why do you want to hang out all of a sudden but not before we stopped talking," and "you only want to hang out bc Im friends with Tom (I'll get to that)" and mentions of wanting to hang out but me not having feelings or something like that, it's all over what she says.

the Tom thing, he's basically a dirtbag she started being friends with and hanging out with who is a drug addict and womanizing bad person basically. she claims they're just friends and she would never see him as more than that and wouldn't ever sleep with him etc, they just go to parties with other friends. I don't think he has anything to do with how she's acting but maybe he does?

I just want to grasp why she would be ok hanging out with me, even said she'd stay at my house if she were drunk and couldn't drive, but is always so damn mean and bitchy? I gave her times to say it but she'll never just come out and tell me to move on, not once.

[VincenzoG91]

She doesn't sound like friendship material, just a toxic mess. I just don't see why you would even want to be around her anymore. You're going to be happier once you move on and start seeing other women.

[getupkid49]

one of the reasons why is this behavior mirrors the exact behavior my ex before her shown. we were broken up around the same time as me and the current ex and started speaking again, same thing. she'll agree to hang out but be show a huge attitude but I always kept my cool and eventually we started dating and she went right back to normal, better even. I asked her why she was acting the way she did and her response was she still loved me but didnt want to anymore, we were back together two weeks later.

I doubt this is the case now and I want to hang out with her because when we dated we never did anything fun. we never went out, never went to bars, etc. so she had asked why I all of a sudden want to do boyfriend/girlfriend things when we aren't dating and I said because we never got to and I feel like it was our problem. I told her if we went out and I could be myself and how I want to be she'd feel differently towards me, she didnt deny it. and like I said if it doesn't work in my favor I won't be too heartbroken, I'm passed the desperation phase.

I just don't get the contradicting behavior/conversation from her.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Ask her to hang out at a specific time and place. If she accepts, fine, don't talk to her again until you're going to leave to meet her. Don't worry about her responses. If she is okay with hanging out, then hang out. Don't try to read so deep into her behavior. Just do you, and if you don't like what you're getting from her, then stop talking to her.

[stev123]

shes just using you as her emotional tampon, and isnt clear what she wants. any women who doesnt know what she wants in her life isnt worth investing time in. just stop contact with her and move on. good luck

[getupkid49]

yeah what's annoying me the most is I feel like I'm more attached to wanting to be physical, not so much dating. before this all started coming up I would avoid the option to hang out with her unless it was going somewhere, which is kind of why I think she's thinking "what's this guy want from me?" which now that I think of it she asked what I want out of this. I told her just to have fun.

why I keep thinking into it is because if she'll hang out why be mean? and if she doesn't still have feelings I'd think she'd be nice to me at least haha, or be able to turn me down. it's like I feel she thinks I'm forcing her and she can't decline.

really it's not getting to me in a bad way I'm just like what's her deal?

[basilandthyme]

It's really simple: She's lost respect for you and really doesn't care about how she behaves around you. She's probably mad at you too.

Stop trying to be friends and dump her once and for all.

[Valixy]

she dumped me 2.5 months ago bc long sorry short I acted single aroun her, like she wasnt my girlfriend and she got tired of not feeling important.

And only 2.5 months after your separation you expect her to be all nice like she used to be and make you feel good about yourself when you meet up? She was very hurt by how you treated her and she still is, that's why she's being bitchy. A defense mechanism for her but she has at least got your attention now.

Partners should be cherished and respected. Hopefully she'll meet someone who'll treat her right.

If you still have some romantic interest in her or you just want to spend some time with her as friends, you should treat her nicely and respectfully when you're together. Maybe she'll be able to trust you again in time and she'll be back to her old nice ways.