I have a serious boyfriend of about 2 1/2 years. I love him very, very much and he loves me, he tells me so all the time. We met in college and even though we did not get together right away we had instant chemistry.
I believe he is the "one". I melt from his touch and I love everything about him. We are at the point when we are talking future. He is hinting at getting engaged. We are both pretty conservative although we both had a "party" phase at college, he was in a fraternity and I had a circle of girl friends who'd I'd go out with and drink and dance and also go to parties with.
Now that we are talking about the future, I made the mistake of asking him about his past relationships. I knew that he was with a few girls and that he had a fairly serious girlfriend before me. For some reason I wanted to know more. During the discussion, he of course asked me about my past. We had only teasingly had this conversation before and never took it to a serious level or discussed any specifics. During the conversation, my BF, mentioned that one of the traits he admires most about me was that I was conservative and that I wasn't promiscuous. This is true, I have only slept with one other guy, a boyfriend who I dated for about 5 1/2 months and who I fell very, very hard for early on in college. I got dumped by this ex BF and was very, very hurt at the time.
However, I did have a one night encounter with a neighbor before I started dating my BF. I was at this neighbor's party, we had been friendly for a while and he kissed me. I ended up going up to his room and we fondled each other (I was very drunk and a little stoned at the time, which is no excuse). This guy told me he wanted to go down on me and I let him. That's where it ended, he wanted to me to sleep with him but I said no and I didn't do anything to him.
Now the problem. As we were discussing pasts (again really my fault for starting down this path) my BF mentioned that he could never see himself ending up with a girl who had a one night stand and that this would be a "deal breaker" as far as marriage is concerned. I almost broke down when he said that, he wasn't saying it about me just in general. He doesn't think that I've ever done anything other than with him and the previous BF I mentioned.
My BF is not a hypocrite, he has never had a ONS. My question is would you consider my hook up a ONS even though I didn't sleep with this guy? I have to tell my BF about this, I am always honest and wouldn't feel right not telling him.
I'm very worried and scared right now. I know he loves me very much but he is very, very resolute about this concept. I'm literally shaking while I type this, any advice would be greatly appreciated.