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Thread: Didn't see it coming.

  1. #1
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    Didn't see it coming.

    I was in a 3 and a half relationship up until about a week ago. I thought things were good. We had a great connection. We met as I was a customer where she works. Over time we would talk on one day she handed me her number. A few days later I called and we hit it off. Things grew, and we became very close. Spending mostly every weekend together. I developed close relationships with her children and grew to love them. She had been in an abusive relationship previous to meeting me. She and I never argued or had any major disagreements. It was great. No drama. We did a lot of things for each other over the years. I helped her when she needed help. I never asked her for anything. The sex life was great. At a certain point things got deeper. She expressed that I was the man she loved. That she loved me with all of her heart. That she was so grateful for me being in her and her children's lives. From there, we would express or love pretty much every day. I would tell her, she would tell me. Cards, gifts, surprises, we would do for each other. Everything seemed just right up until this past Valentine's Day.
    We went to a Valentine's dinner at her church. I got to meet a lot of her friends. We had a good time and an even better night of intimacy. I started thinking of proposing when I found a ring, and make real plans. I hadn't told her. That is just where my head was at. Over the next several weeks she started to change. She was irritable. Our daily conversations became more and more brief. I asked what was up. She blamed it on the kids and stress on the job. I said that's understandable, so I didn't press. Also as the days passed, she didn't respond to my texts as often, the I love you's faded. I still didn't press. Then she had a bad cold 2 weeks ago. To make sure she would be completely healthy for the following weekend visit, I said get some rest and we will hook up Next week. I told her I can't wait to hold you. She said thanks and we will get together soon. Until further notice. I'm like what does that mean. The next weekend comes and She was like I'll get back to you. I asked what's up? Whatever it is let me know. She was evasive. I am suspicious at this point and ask again. She says her EX is in the picture. The ex that gave her hell. She says it's nothing I did. Which I know is true because I have only been good to her. So this past week I have been blindsided. I expressed my hurt to her. She claims she can't explain. That she hurts too. Then the old I love you more than you know bit. I am just numb I had no idea. we haven't spoken in a few days. I don't know what to do. It doesn't make sense. It hurts....

  2. #2
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    She have to choose what she win or lose. If she dont speak its a red flag. You have to make her talk. Good that you expressed your feelings. But further silence is the sound of dieng realtionship.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  3. #3
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    That really sucks man ...sorry to hear

    sometimes i feel like my ex was never over here previous ex.....he ended it and i think it was a suprise to her....dont think she saw it coming and it was a damaging blow....because in her view she is perfect.......and one day i messaged her as we were family friends...and i was always lead to believe she ended the relationship....somtimes i think i might have been used to make her feel better.....

    we did start off so good...and although we had rough moments things were mostly good for two years or so....then they really fell apart....

    its ****ed up cause i know i treated her so well....and i know she uses that with her new bf(whom im sure she made me out to be a monster to)...."well he did this or that" so hell try to one up and be the knight in shining armor

  4. #4
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    Just stop contact with this bitch. She's most likely going to come back at some point. I suggest you have sex with her once, then tell her to get lost when she does.

  5. #5
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    Just back off for a bit. Sometimes people come on here all freaked out, and then in no time when things settle down, we are told they are back talking and working things out. So sit tight and give it some time for now. Keep busy and take care of yourself, that all you really can do. The waves of pain will usually last for about two to three weeks, but will slowly subside.....your head will be a little clearer too. You will get through this.

  6. #6
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    I think if you wait patiently she will come back to you. Dont make any effort with her and shell likely comevrunning. You can decide then whether you want to stay with her or dump her

  7. #7
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    She hasn't told you yet that it's over so her silence is still a better sign than the other possibility. Since she says that she is hurting too and that she still loves you, I assume that whatever she's going through is not a happy situation. Hopefully this is just a last conflicting situation with her ex before she could finally begin a new life with you. Abusive ex-es tend to make a last apparition just when they are about to lose for good their previous partner. He could be in real trouble and she felt that she had to or was forced to help him? Whatever it is, she won't be able to keep this silence forever and she should give you an explanation soon allowing you to know where you stand and what you should and would like to do from there.

    Your story reminds me a little bit of 'Pay it forward'.
    Last edited by Valixy; 14-04-13 at 09:26 AM.

  8. #8
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    I recnetly got my hear broken in to pieces, I heard about this new show that helps you get over your ex and answer questions (exandwhycasting.com)
    I am thinking about applying, what do you think?

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