Need help from a shy man please...

[brandy]

I find myself pretty attracted to guy who seems to be a bit introverted and a little on the shy side. My instincts tell me that he is attracted to me as well. I've known him for almost a year (we work together, but on different floors and in different departments). For the last several months, he has done the following:

- When I first met him, I would catch him looking at me. Whenever I looked over at him, he would look away.
- He seems to be where I am, even if he has no reason to be there. And sometimes he'll "accidentally" bump into me.
- He always offers to help me with anything I need.
- He defends me to others.
- He has befriended my friends.
- If he doesn't see me for a whole day, he'll say something like "It seems like I haven't seen you in forever".
- And here recently, he has started to let me catch him looking at me and then holding my gaze for a few seconds before looking away.

We have been out a couple times in a group of people. He never leaves my side and always buys my dinner and drinks. His friends were even joking with me about being his favorite co-worker. He has taken my hand to guide me through big crowds and has put his hand on my back a couple times, but besides that there has been no physical contact.

I want to try and hang out with him, just the two of us though. I have asked a couple times, but he already had something he had to do (which I verified was the truth). When he tells me he can't, he says that he wished that he could. He has never been the one to ask me though.

I know that he has dated other girls, so it's not like this is his first time. And if it was the fact that we work together, I would think he wouldn't have acted the way he did when we were out with others. I have given him every green light I can think of without just coming out and telling him, but he still won't ask.

What's a girl to do??? Am I crazy for thinking that he likes me?

[basilandthyme]

I'd say that he's interested in you, but not enough to date you. You've asked him out and he declined because he was busy. If he was keen to date you, he'd reply "I can't do that date, but what about X date?" Giving someone a straight out 'no' is the Kiss Of Death to dating.

[FlaCooln]

Hes interested. No way in hell would I buy a woman dinner and drinks if I did want more from her romantically. He is just shy, so call him out on it and just say, "So when are you going to take me out on a date."

As a guy I have no problem taking the lead or letting a woman take the lead. Sometimes we get caught up in being a gentleman (especially at the workplace) that we forget sometimes we need to be more aggressive. So I would ask him again.

[pcmaster]

Basicaly just give him compliments and even more green lights. Say you like him. Talk to him often - socialize. Ask on a date again - this time better luck. You have to be confident because shyess will make him even more shy. And of course dont expect anything and dont be disapointed cause it will take pretty long time to make him open up. But best of all talk straight never expect hints to do the job. Be straight with everything.

[FlaCooln]

Just make sure to touch him when you talk to him and walk by. If hes not completely lost he will get the hint.

[Cerby]

Just make sure to touch him when you talk to him and walk by. If hes not completely lost he will get the hint.

If he still doesn't get it, next time touch him in the crotch, then he should get it. If not, he is gay, move on.

[FlaCooln]

If he still doesn't get it, next time touch him in the crotch, then he should get it. If not, he is gay, move on.

LOL. Just unzip his fly and give him a BJ right in the middle of the office. If he busts a nut he likes you...wait Whaaat?...lol.

You cannot just go around rubbing up on people in the crotch at work, thats a good way to get fired. I think there are much more tactful and workplace friendly ways to get his attention. Now if you are at the bar for drinks, by all means touch his crotch. I know every single straight man would appreciate it.

Seriously Cerby....you cracked me up with that one.

[pcmaster]

Well no one will get fired for that. I seen that happen at my work and guy didnt say anyhing because it didnt hurt after all. Especialy this shy guy if he like the girl then he will like her even more. Ill suggest try rub your body all around him that should work too.

[Ahmed Atef]

I'd say that he's interested in you, but not enough to date you. You've asked him out and he declined because he was busy. If he was keen to date you, he'd reply "I can't do that date, but what about X date?" Giving someone a straight out 'no' is the Kiss Of Death to dating.

totally agree

[brandy]

Thanks everyone for all of the input...the serious and the funny! lol I appreciate it!

[smackie9]

I know shy guys and dated many...you have to be the one with the balls if you have that kind of personality...they like aggressive girls that are willing to take the lead.

[HeheMan]

UMMM HELLO.

He is giving you CRAZY AMOUNTS OF SIGNALS.

Why not MAKE A MOVE?

[brandy]

Well I guess I'm a little shy myself if I'm being honest. But I guess if I really want to know either way, I'm just gonna have to suck it up and do it.

[smackie9]

Taking risks is what makes things happen BUT if you are not suited to be an aggressor it's not going to work for you because it's a full time thing with shy guys.

[pcmaster]

Might be that hes actually brave guy inside just never been out of his shell cause didnt find any femalle who will accpet him as a man.