Playing Things Cool When Seeing An Ex To Win Him Back- Advice?

[downhill4lyf]

Hi all! I'd love some advice on this issue I'm having...

My boyfriend and I of a year broke up in November, because I was being very controlling in our long distance relationship. We dated for a year in high school, and decided to stay together in college, but I didn't give him his space and he got scared. I regret that, and really have learned my lesson. I texted him a few months later saying I missed him and I realized what I did wrong and have changed a bit, and he said "at this point, I think that we should just be friends. That's where I'm at right now. I hope that's okay." I agreed to be friends and we have talked in a friendly matter a couple of times since then (including a very nice "happy birthday" from him to me that included an inside joke of ours). Now, I saw his statement as kind of open ended and I understand that it would have been hard to start up a long distance relationship again over text mid-year, without having seen each other for a few months. That being said, summer vacation is coming up in two weeks...

The good news is that I have really bettered myself. In the beginning of the school year, I was too dependent on him and that ended up ruining our nearly perfect relationship. I found some great friends at college, and I have really found myself without him. That doesn't mean I miss him any less though! We were each other's first loves, and we have this crazy connection... Even when we saw each other over winter break, the chemistry was palpable. When we would talk one on one he would just stare at my lips, and we were clearly still very attracted to one another. We are in the same very tight knit friend group of about 10 people back home, so we are going to be seeing each other a lot. I do miss him and do want him back, but I know that I cannot force it, especially since my controlling nature was the demise of the relationship in the first place.

I just need some advice on how to make sure I don't pressure him or try to force anything when I see him this summer. I still love him and know that there's going to be a little voice in my head (that will get louder with alcohol) that's going to want to ask him to hang out one-on-one right away when I see him the first time. Does anyone have any advice/any experience with playing hard to get and playing things cool to win over an ex?

[Boisdevie]

Does anyone have any advice/any experience with playing hard to get and playing things cool to win over an ex?

1. Playing games is for children.
2. After the holidays presumably even if you did get together again you'd be long distance?

Just be yourself, forget silly games, and if it happens it happens.

[downhill4lyf]

1. Playing games is for children.
2. After the holidays presumably even if you did get together again you'd be long distance?

Just be yourself, forget silly games, and if it happens it happens.

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it! And I didn't really mean playing games necessarily, but I just meant how can I control my emotions so I don't pressure him too much when I'm going to be tempted to rush into things when I see him because I'm still in love with him, if you know what I mean.

[basilandthyme]

Winter break was a long time ago. Has he given you any signs since then that he want you back? Do you know whether or not not he's moved on and has a new girlfriend?

[downhill4lyf]

Winter break was a long time ago. Has he given you any signs since then that he want you back? Do you know whether or not not he's moved on and has a new girlfriend?

I have asked a mutual friend who goes to school with him and she said he's been casually hooking up with a girl but he told her he is not continuing it over the summer and it's nothing serious.

[THX]

I see no problem with mentioning ONCE that you guys should hang out sometime. If he likes the idea and sets something up you're good for round 2. If he is hesitant pressing further will only lead you to a bad place. If a guy likes you he will make it happen.

[michelle23]

I think you should try to get over him and move on. Clinging on is not good for you and it will just hurt you more in the long run. Its over. You need to accept that now. Long distance rarely works. Its not your fault so stop blaming yourself. It wasnt meant to be and you should try to meet someone closer to home