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Thread: HE moves too fast and then HE freaks out?

  1. #31
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    Flame away, darl'n flame away.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  2. #32
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    Aww now you're trying to be condescending. You don't sound bitter at all.

    At any rate, this childish feud is not only off topic, but serves no purpose. I bid you good day. o/`

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    Fla... I thought you had better common sense then that ^^^ No one has said the "dude HAS to be lying" but, she shouldn't be 100% trusting of his story at this point. To do so is being naive. Trust is earned,it's not automatic. So it's in her own best interests to keep her wits about her after two dates and a very unlikely story.
    Didn't I say not to take everything as gospel? I have plenty of common sense, but people were bashing this dude w/o real reason. From what I read he likes her, family issue came up, and he needs some time. Trust me if a good looking woman that I'm dating invites me to her house I'm going go. I just don't see a reason why people think he is lying. Maybe b/c I wound not lie, so I'm biased I guess.

    I don't think HeHe is flaming at all. Rather, he is politely in disagreement with your statements (as am I). Also, I think you seen enough of me and my posts over the last 3 months to get an idea of the type of person I am. I just choose to believe in the good in people until proven otherwise. It does not mean I don't question what they say (I am an attorney for good reason, I like to debate).
    Last edited by FlaCooln; 30-04-13 at 04:41 AM.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlaCooln View Post
    I just don't see a reason why people think he is lying.
    Because he's a man, TBQH.

  5. #35
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    NO ONE was bashing the dude. What was being done was advising the op to be wary of red flags and then the (possible) red flags were being pointed out.

    From what I read, I think he likes her as well. That has nothing to do with possible red flags. Red flags that all men and women should be aware of when online dating or meeting new prospective partners in any venue for that mater. It's that simple. He probably is telling the truth but the possiblity is there that he is not. Hehe is on an agenda where he thinks I am being misandristic when that is the furthest thing from what I am being. so don't let what he's saying influence you out of your normal and good common sense.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 30-04-13 at 04:47 AM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    NO ONE was bashing the dude. What was being done was advising the op to be wary of red flags and then the (possible) red flags were being pointed out.

    From what I read, I think he likes her as well. That has nothing to do with possible red flags. Red flags that all men and women should be aware of when online dating or meeting new prospective partners in any venue for that mater. It's that simple. He probably is telling the truth but the possiblity is there that he is not. Hehe is on an agenda where he thinks I am being misandristic when that is the furthest thing from what I am being. so don't let what he's saying influence you out of your normal and good common sense.
    LOL no influence at all. I felt the same way before I read his posts.

  7. #37
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    Well that explains a lot then.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    Well that explains a lot then.
    But, to be honest my online dating experience has been great. I talked to a few women, went on dates with 2, and the 2nd one I am currently dating and VERY happy with.

  9. #39
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    ... Awesome! ...
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  10. #40
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    i toi think the OP should be wary. not just because of the current situation but because she only just met him and it started online. lots of crazy people on these sites so yes OP proceed with caution, take things slow and see how you feel as time goes on.

    i dont think you have any reason not to trust or believe him right now. just dont leap in head first and keep your eyes wide open for red flags.

  11. #41
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    OP, either this guy is lying or lame. The fact that "someone" in his family (interesting that he couldn't tell you more than that) is clinging to life is not a reason to stop dating. Especially when it sounds like these first two dates went so well. Are his parents getting a divorce because somebody is clinging to life? Bullshit. Does a source of happiness in his life make it harder to deal with potential tragedy? Bullshit. I bet there really is "someone" clinging to life, probably a grandparent, but that someone would never think of asking him to put the rest of his life on hold until the funeral.

    There is probably something else going on, and the fact that he won't admit it makes him look like a weasel. Maybe he has a terrible fear of commitment. Maybe he is seeing somebody else, or even married. Maybe he has some weird health problem and is afraid that you will find out soon. At the moment, it doesn't matter. What matters is that this guy is stomping on the brakes pretty quickly, so just don't be surprised if he abruptly bails on you at some point. Keep seeing him (if you can), but keep your eyes open.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    That said, I once had to re-schedule a date so I could attend a wake and funeral for my grandfather, in a different part of the state. I was one of the pallbearers. The woman was really nice and understanding about it, but when I got back in town three days later, she postponed our postponed date with a weak excuse. I was surprised, because the first two dates were so great. Finally, a week later, we meet up and she dumps me, telling me that she had decided to become a lesbian. We tried to do the just friends thing for a couple of weeks, until she finally told the truth. She slept with some other guy while I was at the funeral, and she wanted to keep seeing that guy.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  13. #43
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    Damn Vince, you're even worse than Wakeup.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 View Post
    The fact that "someone" in his family (interesting that he couldn't tell you more than that) is clinging to life is not a reason to stop dating. Especially when it sounds like these first two dates went so well. Are his parents getting a divorce because somebody is clinging to life? Bullshit. Does a source of happiness in his life make it harder to deal with potential tragedy? Bullshit.

    There is probably something else going on, and the fact that he won't admit it makes him look like a weasel.
    Thanks Vince, for this post. I agree completely. Something rotten in the state of Denmark w/ this guy.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Vince, you're forgetting that they only met each other a week ago as of the OP being posted. He's probably drawing on other social support systems (such as other family and close friends) to deal with this tragedy. Why would he turn to a stranger he's only known for 2 weeks? Do you honestly feel it's appropriate to dump your problems on someone you've just met? No offense guy, but that sound a bit codependent to me. When someone is sick, do they have to ask you to put your life on hold for them? Jeez. It doesn't even sound like he's putting his life on hold, he just told this girl he needs to slow down because he's under stress.

    I mean seriously some of you people are really warped. I would hate to live in a world where every man I met was probably lying and hiding something.

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