triangle :(

[violin]

Hi,
somehow I found myself in a situation in which I'm the bad guy. I hate myself for that and if you want to response just so you can tell me that I am an asshole please don't, that is the one thing I know already.

I have a boyfriend, a really nice guy. He's always friendly, trustworthy, calm and funny. But he's complecated when it comes to expressing feelings. He just doesn't want to talk, like ever. And he doesn't like to express feelings in public. I thought I can exept that, but as time passed I found myself to feel lonley and rejected because of that. We went on vacation with his friends and broke up for like 10 minutes because it got so extreme that I got angry and loud. When we got back home I needed a break from him and started to spend more time again with my friends. He wants me to be with his friends and family, but he was never with me when I met my freinds. He says thats not on purpose. However, nobody in this group which I started to hang out again had seen him.
On of the guys had started to make advances for quite some time but I ignored then because I had a boyfriend. Well, their weren't really advances, he just was very attemptive when I spoke and rememberd everything I said, even if it was a long time ago, stuff like that, so I wasn't really sure if he was just nice or if he liked me, so I ignored it.
Then at one party he asked for my facebook name and soon we started writing. I told him that I had a boyfriend and that's because I can't see him. He was ok with it. Simoultainiously I told my boyfriend that I'm unhappy but he didn't really hear me, or didn't get that it is something so important that I want to brake up.
I think I told him twice after the holidays.
So I went to the movies with my friends, this other guy included. Few days after he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies again and I said yes. I wasn't really sure if he meant just us or if it's going to be a group thing again.. I didn't ask. So I found myself on a date and didn't really think about it. On the end he kissed me. The next day I wrote him that it's not possible, that I have still a boyfriend. And I called my boyfriend crying, telling him what happend, wanting to break up. He said that it's ok and that he will listen now if I'm unhappy.
The next day the other guy told me that he's in love with me, but like in a big way. That he knows that he's interferring but he needed to try, that it's important to him. He looks at me like he wants to marry me, this hopefull idealistic look. I like him a lot. But then it got messy, somehow I have an affaire now.
I told my boyfreind and he said that I have to decide, the other guy says it to, but I'm on a piont where I can't even decide which pizza I want to order. I decide 5 times a day and rewind. I don't know what to do. This whole thing is happening for over 3 months now and everybody involved is exhaused, but I can't seem to get a clear thought.
Can anybody help me?

[Wakeup]

Well fasten your seatbelt and put on your crash helmet, violin because there's likely going to be a shit storm from a particular poster about your infidelity.

I'll just tell you that you're foolish and afraid to be alone so you don't want to lose one while you try out another. Grow up, dear and don't go out with either of them until you know what you want in a man so that you don't keep jumping from one to another. I will give you a hint. You don't get along with your boyfriend so why are you afraid to leave him? You don't even know the other guy except that he's willing to break up a relationship to be with you. Neither guy has much in the way of boundaries or strong character.

[TablesandChairs]

Your current boyfriend is a weirdo. He doesn't want to show affection, doesn't want to express feelings (ever) and hasn't even made attempts to see your friends and family. You tell him you've had an affair and he's like "well I guess you can decide what you want". You're not going to be happy with him long-term, no matter how 'calm and friendly' he is. People need some passion and a pulse. He sounds like he has neither.

The other guy? Well whatever, he probably saw you were with some zombie/dead guy and thought it'd be easy to make a move. He tried.

Break up with your boyfriend, spend some time alone/with female friends (it won't kill you) and then decide.

[michelle23]

I think you should break up with your current bf.

You should have done so ages ago because you were unhappy-instead you lined up a plan B as an escape route probably because you fear being alone.

Just end the relationship. It is not working and if you want to date the other guy-take things slowly.

Let this be a lesson to you. Next time your unhappy dont wait for a saviour-just get out asap so you can move on

[michelle23]

Well fasten your seatbelt and put on your crash helmet, violin because there's likely going to be a shit storm from a particular poster about your infidelity.

I am only that aggressive towards people who dont grow a backbone and tell the truth about what they have done. Living a lie is wrong and unfair to their partner who thinks everything is rosy.

[FlaCooln]

Leave the BF. Figure out what you want. If this new guy is it, start fresh with him. As stated this new guy may just be a way out, so don't just jump right to him. Rather, give yourself some time.