What lessons have you learned from your breakups?

[IndiReloaded]

Trust your gut. It knows well before your head does.

[Makeme]

I've learned that sometimes love really isn't enough...

[pcmaster]

I learned that one second too late can change all your life.

[IndiReloaded]

I learned that one second too late can change all your life.

The rhythm method really requires a backup method, PC.

[HDBadger]

Bollocks. Only assholes who refuse to change will die alone.

(excepting those who don't want a partner or those who are severely disabled from my comment)

False. Plenty of healthy, normal people die alone. This is a fact. Your opinion to the contrary doesn't make it correct.

[AnaisNin]

I've definitely learned to trust my instincts. Even when my head tries to convince me otherwise.

Wanting something to be true doesn't make it so. As in, I love him so much there's no WAY he doesn't love me back. He's just having a hard time showing it. (ugh)

A relationship should be mutual. If one person is doing all the work, only that one person is the only one really interested.

Stay strong in who I am and what my interests are.

Don't change for another person, unless you happen to be a chameleon, which you probably aren't since you're on a forum for humans.

[mahon451]

Lesson 1- If someone tries to change you, they're not right for you. If you want to change things about yourself with the aim of self-improvement, that's different, and a good partner will help you in any way they can toward that goal.

Lesson 2- If your partner is not GGG (Good, Game, and Giving, and not just in the Dan Savage sense, but on the whole), run. Someone who will not do for you what you would do for them will leave you feeling like you're constantly being taken advantage of, and that will lead to resentment... and that resentment will eat your relationship like a worm eats an apple.

Lesson 3- If your partner's lifestyle is so different from your own that you never share activities with them other than watching TV, it probably won't work out.

Lesson 4- If you are a "fighter", don't date a "runner". You will find yourself committed to a person who can't mentally or emotionally match your level of devotion, and when they eventually bolt, you will find yourself confused and heartbroken.

All of this comes from personal experience. Hope it helps.

[mahon451]

Addendum- trust actions, and take words with a grain of salt.

[Narushkah]

What i have learn't from my breakup is that if a guy doesn't respect as a woman and treats you badly,you should let go because if you allow a guy to treat you badly then you as a woman thinks nothing about yourself..i have also learn't how to be strong at my lowest point of being sad.

[loveagain]

* Resolve the previous relationship before you start a new one. I'm really bad about this, as soon as one is definitely over I am jumping into the next, or at least looking. I justify if by the fact that my breakups tend to drag on for months or years, so I'm "ready to move on right away." Really, you're not.

* Do the work to make it strong from the start. When a crisis arises it's too late to build a strong relationship.

* If you say it - mean it and do it.

[thereisnone]

* Resolve the previous relationship before you start a new one. I'm really bad about this, as soon as one is definitely over I am jumping into the next, or at least looking. I justify if by the fact that my breakups tend to drag on for months or years, so I'm "ready to move on right away." Really, you're not.

* Do the work to make it strong from the start. When a crisis arises it's too late to build a strong relationship.

* If you say it - mean it and do it.

This is so important. I learned this from my last breakup. I am using the wisdom I learned from that one. I am going through a rough break up now.

[GreenMango21]

Don't check your partner's phone. You're only creating your own nightmare.

[pcmaster]

The rhythm method really requires a backup method, PC.

What I mean is hesiating with words. One second hesitanting might be enought to miss the moment and dont find power to say it later. For example hesitating at altar to say Yes. Or Failed to say simple words like I love you when its expected the most. One chance might be all thats given. Fall out of moment and you can say those words 100 times without any impact. Life is in the moment. Time is most valuable thing there is.

[romany]

When you find the great love which is not broken

[cookies&cream]

when you get hurt, love more until it hurts no more.