Big Story

[RipperX]

Hello all.As I say in the title this is kinda big story.4 years ago I fell in love with a girl and fought for her and won.
She liked me like I was god for 2 years.After that time I had some serious health problems like disc herniation
and some other stuff.99% of my attention was on me and I was panicking really bad.She was there for me
but with time she said that she got less and less attention.There was no passionate kissing anymore
not because I had a prob with her but because I didnt feel like it(out of the blue and while I was doing stuff
she was coming to me and asking for passionate kisses).In the last 2-3 months we met this guy in the store
we kept going for card game tournaments and friends and she started being around him a lot.She said he was just
a friend that makes her happy(I was kinda cold while in the store but I ALWAYS told her that I love her).
Thats a very short description but mostly thats how it went.So,6 days ago she told me that she doesnt feel anything for me
anymore and that we should break up.Still hurts like the devil.What I cant understand is how she could go from the girl that treated
me as a god to a cold hearted ...woman... in 2 days.She said it took 2 years to "unstuck" from me.We had our bad times and when she was nagging at me:At the begining I always
answered and told her however I was feelling(love) while she thought that I hated her but after some time I stoped answering and it was like
talking to a wall.That was my fault but I didnt think that she was serious because I always told her that I love her.today she took all her things
and made me understand that she wont feel anything for me ever.Is that possible?
All I want is her and the moment she told me that she doesnt want me I became the person she used to know but it was to late.I blame her
for not doing something drastic to "change" me or make me understand.She blames herself also but she said that now is to late.Is there any way
to have her back? I keep giving myself false hope and that somehow I'll "manipulate" her into wanting me again.Main question is:Will she feel that way
all the time from now on or is there anything I can do to make her fall for me again? I made her understand that Im so sorry and that I changed.I asked if she wanted
to go out(diner,cinema and stuff she never said no) but she wont accept anything from me.She is a good person in general but at the moment is so cold.She also told me that there is nothing going on with the other guy.
There is much distance between them and cant meet but they talk almost every night on the phone.

[smackie9]

Dude relationships just lose their luster after awhile and go to rust. Things change, people change and they crave something different....sorry but relationships are not forever....it's a natural thing to happen. You can't force someone to be in love with you....if they say it's gone, it's gone.


She has friend zoned this guy, and just using him for her emotional needs. I'm sure he will figure this out eventually. I think she just wants her independence and start a new chapter in her life......looking for some fulfillment. People just want to move on, and I think you should look forward to new experiences as well. Change is good.

[RipperX]

Yeah,but isnt there a way to "make" her feel something more for me?Not now but in a month or 2.The other guy didnt show any interest.he's just talking to her and looks like you are right about the friend zone

[michelle23]

You need to ignore her, be aloof, distant, act like your moving on. If she comes running back great but if not in the next month or two then you really have to accept its over and get on with your life.

[basilandthyme]

Ripper, you mention bad times and nagging, so I assume you would have been aware that she wasn't completely happy in the relationship. You do know that good relationships don't look like this, don't you?

Thing is, if you were aware that she wasnt content, then you're wrong to blame her for not making you understand. If you knew she was unhappy, it was your job to listen to her words and actions. It's not her job to whack you over the head to make you listen to her.

In short, she could not have MADE you understand any more than you can MAKE her feel something for you again.

I'm sorry to say that I believe you've lost her.

[RipperX]

Ripper, you mention bad times and nagging, so I assume you would have been aware that she wasn't completely happy in the relationship. You do know that good relationships don't look like this, don't you?

Yeah,and at first I made everything to make her happy and stop her from thinking stuff like I dont love her(NEVER gave her that impression,she made it up in her mind).After a couple of days she started again without reason to think that I dont like her.Again I explained and
all was ok for another 2 days.After the first month,that started to annoy me and I told her but no luck.Thats why I became a little distand(also had health probs at that time) without that meaning that I dont love her.In the past few months she said that she was annoyed by some stuff I did
like talking a bit ironic while she did something wrong(always hugged her after every "bad" thing I said to make feel that I didnt mean it).It was just a tease and I told her and tried to stop it.She also said that half the time she felt good with me and other half was in bad mood and not happy and thats what she made her fed up(Thats what her main problem was).I couldnt understand what was really bothering her to fix it because she was kinda cryptic.She was telling me about some "small potatoes" and never the actual reason.

[smackie9]

What is the point of rekindling a crappy relationship? You two are not compatible. If you were you wouldn't have any issues and still be together get my point? You shouldn't have to change who you are and she shouldn't have to change who she is. Personalities just clash and it wasn't meant to be.

[RipperX]

I want her back because I dont believe that we dont match.We were excellent together.I dont think that her problem is a break up problem.We should have fight that.If its otherwise ok,I dont see it but will understand.

[smackie9]

Just because you thought you got along ok doesn't mean you are compatible. Hell you don't have to be fighting.....losing interest can be from the lack of compatibility. Once the honey moon period is over, you need to have compatibility to sustain a relationship for the long haul.

[RipperX]

oook,got it.How much is the honey moon period?

[romany]

nice Story

thx

[smackie9]

Honeymoon period lasts anywhere from 6 months to a year......sometimes people who start out too intensely, usually fall out of love just as quickly......even within 3 weeks to 4 months.