Complete confusion

[jinine]

Hello everyone .. Im in a kinda complicated situation with my two year boyfriend ... We have been having lots of arguments lately and I found him quite inconsiderate towards me .. still we talked and used to sort everything out . Now the thing is that one of my family members died and I needed him to be here with me but he was not . He is actually attending a wedding of his cousin who he hasnt ever met in his life and whose parents have been very cruel to him and never helped him out , in fact they snatched his belated father's property . He told me himself that he hates them but is goin to the wedding just because his mum wants to. My close one has died one day before the wedding and I had called my boyfriend for some moral support but he left me right there alone to help in the wedding preparations of his cousin and his mum didnt even bother to talk to me then. I felt hurted and I tried to talk to him about it , he told he was sorry but I still m hating the way he neglects me and im hating more and more his mum who I found always too attached to him and really childish . I mean she didnt even bother to ask me how I was ... She is goin to live forever with my boyfriend as she is completely depedent on him since his father passed away ( if myy bf goes out alone with his friends for some days , she will not even have her food ) and she keeps on kissing hugging him and doing everything for him even sometimes sleep on the same bed as him. I have learned to accpt the fact that I will have to live with my mother in law because I love my bf a lot but since my family member died and all this happened and she didnt have even a little consideration for me I feel liked distanced and very much hesitant to move forward with this relation. My bf still loves me and doesnt want to break up with me and tells me that he is helpless . Can you please help me out .. how can I solve all this ? or should i simply give up ? thanks for all your answers in adv

[pcmaster]

Well in moments like this we always tend to apreciate our loved ones and want them to be with us. He dont really feel your pain cause it wasnt his relative who died. Also he is mamas boy and mum ofcourse is pushing the limits. Thats weak from your boyfriend to be so easly controled. That might be happines recipe for his mom but not for him. My father once listened to his mum and left his wife. He never got over that mistake he made. His mom didnt even remembered what she did. She even asked why they split after 15 years.

However back to your problem. Bottom line is your boyfriend do what he wants(or is he a vegetable?). But its up to you to let old women dictate how you life gona be or put the things how you want. Its your life, your choice, your rights. Everyone who is not okay with that should be put in their places. Everyone is responsible for their own happines.

This could help with ending confusion

loveforum.net/threads/78863-Are-you-living-YOUR-life

[jinine]

Thank you so much for ur response.. and the link M sorry for ur mum n dad ... Well, his mom is fully depedent on him finally and emotionally so he told me he is helpless that she must live with him . She talks to me well before that incident occured and it was just her "too sticky" attitude towards her son that makes me freak out with her .. and the fact that she tells me to stay quiet wenever a fyt happens between me n her son ..He usually cares for me very much but i think i still didnt get over that incident and the fact that he left me that tym ..

[Valixy]

Maybe the fact that he attended his cousin's wedding instead of a funeral with you is not such a big problem after all. You are not married yet and still have different families to look after. What you said about his mother's behaviour is a little bit worrying though. Is it normal for a mother to have such an influence on her son and even if enjoying good health to be his full responsibility? Could you adapt to this if you two got married?

[jinine]

Maybe the fact that he attended his cousin's wedding instead of a funeral with you is not such a big problem after all. You are not married yet and still have different families to look after. What you said about his mother's behaviour is a little bit worrying though. Is it normal for a mother to have such an influence on her son and even if enjoying good health to be his full responsibility? Could you adapt to this if you two got married?

thnks for ur answer valixy actualli she just behaves like a needy child she does not scold or force him but she does keep his salary until now with her and she gives him like pocket money and its like her world revolves around her son . she told me since her husband died she doesnt want to do nythng for the home neither for herself .. and told me to handle the home like decorate n do the household wen i come .. i tuk it positivelky thnkin she must have accpted me as a fmily member that is why she is telling so even if its a bit ackward thng to say to ur son's gf .. but since she completely ignored my feelings when i needed her support too ... m feeling very hesitant .. i want to tell about his mom to my bf but i dnt knw how to initiate the conversation n not sound too rude and selfish ..