Well I've been dating this amazing girl for over four months now. She's incredibly attractive and has very many good qualities that make me love her. However I believe I am dealing with what is known as sexual performance anxiety, and it's becoming a big problem in my sex life...
I guess it all started about two months ago when I randomly lost my erection during sex, seemingly for no reason at all. After that, I've had on-and-off anxiety about sex, worrying whether I'll be able to get or sustain an erection, which in turn causes me not to be able to. I think my girlfriend's reaction to this was what caused a lot of the anxiety in the first place. If I'm not able to have sex, she begins to think that she isn't attractive enough, or that I'm not attracted to her. That's completely not the case, she honestly is a 10/10 to me as far as looks go, and I'm not exaggerating. Now I've talked to her and explained to her what the issue is, but even so, she still starts to feel that way when I can't get aroused. It makes her feel unloved when I can't have sex. This creates even more anxiety and pressure for me to perform. It's getting in the way of me enjoying sex, because I start to think of it as a task I need to fulfill to meet our needs rather than a fun and passionate experience. Sex has become something I worry about fulfilling rather than something that I look forward to... I know that this is a problem that needs to be fixed, or it will just keep affecting me.
Now I know some of you might tell me, "Just have fun and don't worry about it, that's what's causing the problem in the first place." I'm aware of that, and trust me, if it were as simple as that I wouldn't be here. It's definitely more of a subconscious mental thing.
Could you please guide me in the right direction here?... I'm not sure what steps to take, and it's putting a heavy strain on my relationship :( You all are good people for devoting your time to help people on a forum like this, and for that I am very grateful of any help you might have to offer.