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Thread: Was it my fault or i havent had a chance from the start...

  1. #1
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    Was it my fault or i havent had a chance from the start...

    I met this girl (22) because shes a friend of my friend's GF. So we hanged out couple of times and she liked me, so she get my number from a friend and start texting me. After a month of texting (she was chasing me all along) we went out on a party and after dancing together we started kissing in a car and holding hands... After that there were more massages (every day) and i took her out on a first date. We hold hands entire time and kissed couple of times when i get her back home. Then she inveted me in cinema (she was all over me entire movie) and we went for a couple of walks together (like a couple – holding hands, kissing,...) and i can tell she was talking about things we willl do in future together so i thought, she really wants to be mine.

    After 3 weeks everything started to fell apart. Less and less texting, when went out (alone or friends) she was moody. I fell something is not right. After a month she texted me that she is not sure if she is ready for a sirious relationship (she broke up with a guy 6 months ago, they were together for 3 years). So we talked, and agree we will take things slow but i didnt have any idea whats goin on until i realized she didnt get over her ex (we were at a party where she saw him). After that she started to avoiding time together so i told her she should just tell me if she doesnt want to see me again. She said she liked me (we even agree to have sexual relationship – she was very into it) and want to see me again. I told her i cant be waiting if her ex is a reason we cant have a sirious realtionship (i really really liked her and i was not far away to fall in love with her). She said every month (when shes has period) she gets deppresed becouse of him. So I told her she has time to think about everything and then tell me what she wants for us (we didnt see each other for 2 weeks beacuse she went abroad).

    After she came back she told me she cant have a boyfrined right now. She didnt want to fool around and just have sex with me either (she said she was into sex as long as she thought we would have something sirious). So i said we cant see each other anymore becouse i cant be just friends with her. When i asked her whats the reason she wont be my GF she said she didnt fall in love with me as a main reason besides she didnt get over her ex. Now Im wondering that i didnt do enough (im 25 and pretty unexpirienced) – and thats the reason why she didnt fall in love with me (we were kissing (tounge) and stuff in the car for couple of times, she also meet all my best friends). I withold sex even tho i know i could bang her in first 2 weeks (she was all over me) but i wanted to take things slow couse i saw her as a GF material and everything seemed so perfect. I had no idea that she has baggage and everthing wil go upside down. It was totaly unexpected – because she was so into me. Even my friends couldnt believe it (we were hanging around together for a mont with her). Did i made a mistake, do you thing sex would change anything or i havent had a chance with her from beginnning because of her ex? Im not beating myslef up becaouse of sex alone but because of a possible relationship we could have if i were more agressive towards that direction.
    Last edited by ippn1; 30-04-13 at 07:12 PM.

  2. #2
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    Yeah you should have had banged her. Don't look at it like if you like a girl you have to wait. It was probably very frustrating for her. Sex is a very important part of a relationship and plays a large role in how into you a girl is.

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    Ya if you don't take the initiative to show her you want to f uck her, she doesn't feel desired. Speaking as a woman, I know she felt that there must be something wrong with her (or wrong with you!) if a guy isn't at least trying to get into her pants. You fail.

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    Wow, I respect that you didn't just immediately sleep with her. What a gentleman move! *clap clap to you!

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    Quote Originally Posted by cookies&cream View Post
    Wow, I respect that you didn't just immediately sleep with her. What a gentleman move! *clap clap to you!
    And yet...it failed.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cookies&cream View Post
    Wow, I respect that you didn't just immediately sleep with her. What a gentleman move! *clap clap to you!
    Sarcasm?

    Lesson learned. Next time i will sleep with a girl as soon as possible. Im very unexperienced at 25 :S but im learning....
    I dont regret that we didnt have sex because i liked her so much - it would only made me more attached. And I would end up just a rebound with feelings for her.
    Another lesson learned: never date a women who is not over her ex. There were some red flags I recognized, but choose to ignore since i believed she was completly into me.
    After we went seperate ways she told me that she cheated one her 2nd BF (the one she cant forget right now) with his 1st BF (he cheated one her). She got into new relationship with his 2nd BF 1 month after she ended with his 1st BF. And then she realized she didnt get over her 1st and returned to him. she realized she made a mistake and went back to 2nd BF. They were together for 3 years and now she is blaming herself for everything bad he made in realtionship (cheated back and neglect her). And then I came into the picture. Very fortunate :S, especially because she started texting/chasing me.
    I also found out from a mutual friend that she texted her ex a week after we saw him at the party (at the time I gave her to rethink everything).
    Last edited by ippn1; 06-05-13 at 06:25 PM.

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    Fact that she WANTED you to sleep with her means shes ****ing garbage, go find someone who isnt the average cum dumpster.

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    why would you say that? She was defenetely attracted to me, and we have been on 3 dates before she show me some subtle signs she is willing to have sex with me.
    I dont even know how long usually takes to have sex with some new girl?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ippn1 View Post
    why would you say that? She was defenetely attracted to me, and we have been on 3 dates before she show me some subtle signs she is willing to have sex with me.
    I dont even know how long usually takes to have sex with some new girl?
    Doesn't matter lol, if she was already willing to phuck on the first date it means sex is more important to her than respect, you don't need women like that in your life OP. stay safe.

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    You didnt do anything wrong OP. Shes emotionally unavailable and needs more time to heal. Its not your fault. Ignore the others that are going on about sex-it had nothing to do with that. Shes just not ready

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    Quote Originally Posted by ippn1 View Post
    Sarcasm?

    Lesson learned. Next time i will sleep with a girl as soon as possible. Im very unexperienced at 25 :S but im learning....
    I dont regret that we didnt have sex because i liked her so much - it would only made me more attached. And I would end up just a rebound with feelings for her.
    Another lesson learned: never date a women who is not over her ex. There were some red flags I recognized, but choose to ignore since i believed she was completly into me.
    After we went seperate ways she told me that she cheated one her 2nd BF (the one she cant forget right now) with his 1st BF (he cheated one her). She got into new relationship with his 2nd BF 1 month after she ended with his 1st BF. And then she realized she didnt get over her 1st and returned to him. she realized she made a mistake and went back to 2nd BF. They were together for 3 years and now she is blaming herself for everything bad he made in realtionship (cheated back and neglect her). And then I came into the picture. Very fortunate :S, especially because she started texting/chasing me.
    I also found out from a mutual friend that she texted her ex a week after we saw him at the party (at the time I gave her to rethink everything).
    Well this would make total sense.....you never spoke of these red flags...this would have definitely change the landscape. I think you pretty much knew all along she was bad news, but you let your desires do the thinking for you. Rookie move bro.

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    Well she mentioned her ex almost every second date, just mentioned during convo not talking about him. So i checked if they are still frineds on facebook and they were not, so i put that to rest. Also before I invited her on a drist date i asked her best friend how long ago they broke up, because I know they were together for a long time, and she said 6 months + they were off and on for couple of times before. she also said that she dumped him and that she is over him.
    So much of information from her best friend. :S I actually try to prevent something like this. just couldnt.

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    Quote Originally Posted by stev123 View Post
    Fact that she WANTED you to sleep with her means shes ****ing garbage, go find someone who isnt the average cum dumpster.
    Stev123, do also you hold back from having sex early on? Or are you ****ing garbage?
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    Stev123, do also you hold back from having sex early on? Or are you ****ing garbage?
    No one doesn't, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't start a relationship with a slut. I wouldn't want a bro getting in with a slut, would you?

    inb4 its fine if women sleep with multiple guys because we are equal

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    Quote Originally Posted by ippn1 View Post
    Well she mentioned her ex almost every second date, just mentioned during convo not talking about him. So i checked if they are still frineds on facebook and they were not, so i put that to rest. Also before I invited her on a drist date i asked her best friend how long ago they broke up, because I know they were together for a long time, and she said 6 months + they were off and on for couple of times before. she also said that she dumped him and that she is over him.
    So much of information from her best friend. :S I actually try to prevent something like this. just couldnt.
    Shes not over him and obviously has a fear of being hurt again. You should move on and find someone who is emotionally available

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