Advice - To get married or not?

[tenfour]

Hi.

Some background: I am a 31 years old, earning pretty good salary, pretty good with girls.

THE GOOD:

I have a girlfriend for a year and a half now. She is the same as my age and is racing towards marriage and kids. I prefer to take the time about these things but somehow we ended up being together for this long. She is hot and very fun and comfortable to live with and very good with kids and I can see myself having at least 1 kid with her in the future. We live together right now, we have fun cooking meals, watching tvs, going to movies, parties, the beach and basically, everything. She is also very good to me and is not like the evil girls that we see all around that can terrorize your life . What I am saying is that I can pretty much have a really cool and relaxing life with her.


THE BAD:

I really like her, but unlike in the beginning, I am no longer attracted to her. I can see her walking around naked in the house and it does nothing for me yet she does look pretty good.
I have to note that even though we have been together for a while, I never stopped seeing other girls from time to time. I am just addicted to it and like the excitement instead of the same old boring sex. Yea I know you might say "you are a bad person" etc, but this is life and anyone who can, probably doing it secretly (President, CIA head and countless others). Also I can't see myself being able to stop seeing other women or at least stop 'the chase' any time soon. basically, on my 20's when I was single I had more difficulties getting it going with women and now it has changed. Everything has become easier and over the time I have developed the skills and charisma to attract women so I'm feeling I have to "Fill in" for the lost years.

I also have to note that in my opinion (yet she wont admit of course) she had sex with more partners than I am.


THE DECISION:

Do you think it makes sense to propose even though I am no longer attracted to her? or should I just let go ? I don't know what to do and I am thinking about it for the entire last month. I don't want to lose her yet I still want to have exciting sex. I see my liberty is being compromised here (for example if I want to go for a 1 month to Thailand or south america on a trip) yet I can't see it changing ever in the future. I still want to have kids


I had be happy to get advice from experience men that had success with women in the past so they can understand the situation.

Thanks!

[stev123]

Firstly, male's are at their prime in their 30s, especially if you make good salary and have decent looks. Women however begin to lose it, their biological clock ticks and most of them get used up by 30 - this is the cold truth. This is why women are after you.

Why do you want marriage? Is it something you are brought up with? is it neccesary? I don't see what difference marriage makes for two people in a relationship. IF someone loves one another, they don't need any artificial means to tie that - this being marriage.

Most of these women you are seeing are sluts, why on earth do you want to marry a slut? And a woman who you are not attracted to and proposing is an insanely bad idea, you will most likely cheat on her or lose interest in her and this will most likely lead to a bad marriage and maybe a divorce.

I'm a pilot and I get the same reaction from women.

[tenfour]

I wanted to wait at least 6 more months before considering to propose but we are planning to move to USA and in order for us to do it together, we have to get married soon since governments do care for these artificial means

[Valixy]

I know you've asked for men's advice but I hope you won't mind an opinion from the opposite gender.

The human brain stops producing the lust hormones after a while and begins to produce the attachment ones. You can't fight nature but you can try to understand it and respect its wisdom. You haven't lost anything in the relationship with your girlfriend, the physical attraction is cyclical anyway, but you have won love and you should appreciate it more. Lots of men wish they had a hot loving and loyal girlfriend to complete them so harmoniously.

Why can't you enjoy mentally that you have become an attractive man that could easily conquer other women but stay faithful to your partner and dedicate totally to her? When the natural attraction fades a little bit, you can create more attraction, and that is indeed an extraordinary skill to posses.

There is no happy relationship without a challenge and I think that you should raise to yours

[HeheMan]

Why would you want to get married?

I mean granted marriage has some small bonuses... but they really pale in comparison to how risky it is for a man to get married in this day in age. Hell, a 50% divorce rate is enough to stay away from the affair (80% of divorces are initiated by the wife... so that's like a 40% chance that your wife will dump you). There's huge financial and legal risks, especially for a playboy who makes good money.

I'd say live it up, you don't owe anyone anything.

[tenfour]

Whats the financial and legal risks when there aren't any kids to be involved?

[Wakeup]

Don't marry her. You're not very good LIFE PARTNER material when you're thinking the way you are. She's better off without you to be honest. She deserves to be with a man that finds her attractive and who isn't still wanting to bed anything that looks his way. There's nothing wrong with playing the field but if you're going to do it, be kind enough to talk to your partner about it so that she can do the same.

[THX]

Don't get married to her. I think divorce is so prevelant because people try to force themselves into roles they are not ready for. Don't marry the person you could live with, marry the person you can't live without.

[michelle23]

OP you are not relationship material and she deserves a lot better. If you want to sleep around then you should not have a gf.

I think your an insecure loser who cheats in order to stroke your fragile ego . You may even be a narcissistic bastard and in that case you deserve to be miserable and alone.

Tell her the truth that your a lying cheating prick and let her go and find herself a real man. You will nevermake her happy-youll just break her heart so let her go

[HeheMan]

I think your an insecure loser who cheats in order to stroke your fragile ego.

Or maybe he does it because he likes the excitement of the chase and enjoys the variety of women.

You know. Like he said. In the OP.

I don't know why you hate men so much, michelle23, and think that men are 2-dimensional and driven only by sex and "fragile egos". But this is not the reality. Men are human beings, too, with hopes, dreams, and aspirations, as well as complex psyches. It's not all about "stroking" their "fragile egos".

[michelle23]

Lol to hehe man. I have nothing against men. Just against cheats and that goes for men and women. You think its okay do you what hes doing?

He does have a fragile ego coz he never got any attention before and feels like he "missed out" . Missed out on what? Its bs.

Nowhere in his post did he mention that he loves her but hes wondering should he marry her? Hes a ****ing narcissist. And what you just said proves it "the thrill of the chase" "the challenge" etc

he cant tell his arse from his elbow and does not appreciate the value of having a good woman in his life and would prefer random whores which is all he deserves

[HeheMan]

You think its okay do you what hes doing?

No, but I also don't think it means he has a "fragile ego".

He does have a fragile ego coz he never got any attention before and feels like he "missed out" . Missed out on what?

Again, this has nothing to do with "fragile egos", it's more to do with experiencing life and living it to the fullest.

Nowhere in his post did he mention that he loves her but hes wondering should he marry her? Hes a ****ing narcissist. And what you just said proves it "the thrill of the chase" "the challenge" etc

Being excited to be with members of the opposite sex does not make one a "narcissist".

he cant tell his arse from his elbow and does not appreciate the value of having a good woman in his life and would prefer random whores which is all he deserves

The value is subjective. Obviously have values being free and having different experiences more than settling down with one person, or maybe he's not ready to settle down.

The world isn't this simple binary like you see it. There are no "good guys" and "bad guys".

[michelle23]

If hes not ready to settle down then he shouldnt have his cake and eat it too. You obviously dont have a clue the emotional turmoil and pain cheating causes and you dont care. Hes living a double life and a lie, pretending to be something hes not and its unfair to her.

She deserves a shot at real happieness, real love and she wont get that from him. Hes bring very selfish and abusing the trust she has placed in him. She wants marriage and kids and should get that with someone who is ready, whos commtted to her and who loves her 100%

he does have low self-esteem. A large % if not all cheaters do. They need the attention or validation in order to feel more attractive or more of a man or just to prove a point to himself. There are 5different types of cheats and the OP is a serial cheat which does make him narcissistic.

Anyway your opinion hehe man is irrelevant to me. You have proven time and time again that your advice is garbage and you only come here to bash women coz some bitch broke you

[BennyJamesField]

Married- more pressure, expectancies, living together, shared assets, house, car, Marriage BS, no more sex etc etc

not married, slight pressure, minimal expectancies, choice of living together, singular assets, sex, more sex, and not legally complicated to **** some one else if you feel like it

ok, that last bit was a lie
but i am anti marriage. Until gay marriage is lagalised every where int he world then marriage has no place on this planet
no i am not gay but do support equality.

[michelle23]

how can you say marriage = no sex if you have never been married? If you start having problems with sex-it normally indicates a bigger problem and has nothing to do with whether you are married or not