When to seek help/counseling?

[nathoonder]

Basically to sum it up. I'm smitten over a dancer at a club, it seems like she's interested in me and it seems like our relationship is progressing, me spending a large amount of money in the process. It's probably reaching the 1,000 dollar mark soon. I can honestly say I love her though, she brightens every day of my life, even the ones I don't get to see her and I hope I brighten her's. I have a terribly onerous job and having her to look forward to gives me the strength to make it through my shifts, this person means the world to me. However, acquaintances of mine in real life and the internet have told me to seek counseling. And I ask, is it that bad? Like I said she gives me much motivation and inspiration to do my job and I love spending time with her and getting her to laugh more than anything in the world. So I think there are healthy aspects to the relationship. But when does a "problem"/relationship get so bad that it becomes so evident that one needs to seek therapy? I admit I do cry alone from time to time missing her and wanting a stronger relation ship however I don't even know what kinda of things go on in therapy nor do I feel compelled to go.

[BennyJamesField]

wait wait, do you need to seek counselling cause she is a dancer or because you are obsessed?

[HeartIsAching]

When? Um... now.

[nathoonder]

I don't think I need to at all, but people say it's for both reasons.

[HeartIsAching]

Why do I bother with schlubs that just want their opinion validated?

[nathoonder]

When? Um... now.

What I meant by the question was, basically what are indicators that one should seek help.

[HeartIsAching]

*not bothering*

[dem862]

Well, usually people seek counseling when they need to change something about themselves, or come to terms with a difficult situation. If you are happy with your life, and your life is manageable, counseling may not help you much.

[basilandthyme]

^this^ If you don't want to change your outlook, counselling is useless.

[Boisdevie]

You don't want her. You want me. OK, I'm not a female but I'm prepared to dance in front of you in my cleanest underpants if you'll give me a thousand dollars.

[michelle23]

If you are not ready to cut contact with her then counselling will be a waste of time.

[TablesandChairs]

As long as you realise that for her, it's business. She's getting paid to make you feel good. The better she makes you feel, the more $$ in it for her. I know a dancer like this and she actually relies on 'obsessed' client for regular cash flow - she has a man who will see her and only her, pays her much more than she would get paid normally and so forth. In return, she does some lap-dances, lets him touch her etc...and tells him what he wants to hear (that he's amazing, handsome, smart...that he's her favorite). These women know what to say and how to act...they also know their clients are lonely/busy/frustrated in some way so they play to that. Dancers, when good at their job, can extract $$ out of even the stingiest man.

You'd be a fool to think there was more to it but provided you understand it's a transaction and you're happy with it, that's okay.

[HeartIsAching]

He doesn't realize that. He thinks that the gyrating strumpet likes him.

[Wakeup]

... lolzzzz ....

[nathoonder]

[QUOTE=TablesandChairs;900101I know a dancer like this and she actually relies on 'obsessed' client for regular cash flow - she has a man who will see her and only her, pays her much more than she would get paid normally and so forth. In return, she does some lap-dances, lets him touch her etc...and tells him what he wants to hear (that he's amazing, handsome, smart...that he's her favorite). These women know what to say and how to act...they also know their clients are lonely/busy/frustrated in some way so they play to that. Dancers, when good at their job, can extract $$ out of even the stingiest man.

You'd be a fool to think there was more to it but provided you understand it's a transaction and you're happy with it, that's okay.[/QUOTE]

Speaking of "obsessed" customers, I have a second question that I could use advice on. I've already seen her twice this week and I was wondering if I might come across as weird or creepy to her if I came again on Friday.. That'll be three times in one week but if I don't go Friday that'll be nine days I'll have to go without seeing her and that's really heavy on me, I had to do it once and I hated it. Plus I'd really like to see her again because the last time we talked she asked me for my facebook and I wrote it down and gave it to her. She still hasn't added me though?